One of the least discussed, but most damaging aspects of a divorce is its effect on work.
As one would expect, dealing with a major change in your home life can sometimes flood your work life. This flood of emotions and stress can lead to what has been dubbed “presenteeism.”

Presenteeism is business speak for being at work but not getting much work done. Often employers, bosses, or HR departments will understand or at least empathize with your situation and give you time to acclimate to your new lifestyle. However, as a business, their primary goal is to make money and low productivity is not something they encourage for any extended length of time.

A recent study by The Harvard Business Review estimates that presenteeism costs American Business $150 billion annually in direct and indirect costs. And with the economy in flux, any opportunity to trim the fat may bring extra attention to your presenteeism.

There are a couple of tips to keep your work life stable as your personal life changes.

1. Talk to your HR dept. or boss. Let them know you are dealing with a big life change, but you will do your best to keep the problems out of the workplace. This will let them know that you are not just slacking off, but also HR may be able to give you some guidance and advice to help ease the transition.
2. Consider Mediation. Because mediation provides the opportunity to work through both the legal and emotional aspects of divorce, it means you are less likely to drag those divorce-related emotions into the workplace with you. Further, mediation often produces results much faster compared to a contested litigation, meaning less time spent worrying about the divorce at work.

While none of these suggestions will truly turn the flood of emotions into a draught in your office, they can may transform the flood into a leak that can be patched with enough time.

Check out the first episode of our video podcast. This quick episode covers financial planning during the divorce process.

Divorce resolution alternatives like mediation have moved their way from the fray to the mainstream. Thanks in part to references in popular movies like Oscar-winning Juno and Wedding Crashers, as well as praise from happy participants, mediation is getting the coverage and recognition it deserves.

Check out this article form the Associated Press and this article from the American Bar Association about the emotional and financial benefits mediation has to offer.

Here is a snippet of the ABA article:

Cost may also be a motivating factor in the quest for a peaceful
resolution of a problem marriage: The Boston Law Collaborative, where
Hoffman works, recently analyzed 199 of its divorce cases. It found
that mediation had a median cost of $6,600, followed by $19,723 for
collaborative divorce, $26,830 for a divorce settlement negotiated by
counsel, and $77,746 for a litigated divorce.

For those of you addicted to social networking and new media, you can now check out your favorite mediators on Facebook and YouTube !!!

Make a comment our become our friend!

For those of you who follow Peace Talks new (I know all of you do) we got a nod in this month’s issue of consumer reports.

From the Article “12 Money Mistakes That Can Cost You $1,000,000″

“When Peace Talks, a Los Angeles-Based mediation service, compared the costs of court-litigated and mediated divorce in that city, its estimates ran from $65,000 for a limited contested divorce to $250,000 for a complex full courtroom smackdown. Peace Talks says a low-conflict divorce can generally be mediated for 75% less than going to court.”

Consumer Reports February Article Clip

(Jpeg format)

While divorce mediation is in no way a substitute for therapy, it does offer participants a chance to get shed some of the emotional baggage related to the divorce.

Often, a significant portion of the anger, hostility, and frustration during the divorce process stems from unresolved issues in the marriage. Sometimes the soon-to-be ex-spouse didn’t even know it was an issue.

Communicating about these underlying issues can be key component of divorce mediation. When participants come in for their sessions, they are given the opportunity to discuss any issues in a safe and structured environment. While the problem is unlikely to be resolved in the mediation, just the chance to air the grievances can offer piece of mind.

With everything off your chest, the parting couple has a much greater chance of moving forward and creating workable divorce and custody agreements.

As the national honors Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. today, we are reminded not only of his leadership, but also his message of peace and unity. This message changed the trajectory of our country in the ’60s, and it resonates today, in a slightly different way, within the field of mediation.

As family law mediators, we strive to resolve the conflict between couples everyday in a sane, sensible, and peaceful manner. We are tasked with bringing couples together in civil dialogue, often for the sake of their children’s wellbeing. While the peace and unity we struggle for is on much smaller scale than the goals set forth by Dr. King, they provide us with guidance and purpose as we carryout our jobs each day.

Welcome Back Peace Talks Fans!

Our blog has been on a little hiatus, but we are back to share our insight on divorce, premarital agreements, custody issues, estate plans, conflict resolution, and much, much more. If there is a topic you want us to cover, don’t hesitate to ask.

P.S. For those of you who like Facebook, please visit our page and become a friend.