It is well established that lack of communication can be a death sentence for a relationship. But miscommunication can be just as devastating. When people don’t share a common context of experiences (most people don’t) the likelihood a comment or phrase could be misunderstood or misconstrued are high. These misunderstandings can lead to unnecessary conflict.

An easy way to limit this potential confusion in communication is to clearly articulate your thoughts before speaking. Sure it seems like an simple concept, but it is much harder than it appears. Taking a moment to think about what context your words could be received can help you select the proper words to avoid excessive conflict. This is not to suggest that even the most thought out selection of words isn’t going to spark an epic clash. Rather, the clearer the message you deliver, the greater the likelihood that the conflict arising from the communication is legitimate.

This basic principle of articulation can be applied during mediation as well. Even though there is an inherent level of conflict in a mediation, avoiding additional and unnecessary conflict can lead to a more workable divorce and custody agreement. When couples properly articulate their feelings in a mediation session, they will not only lessen the emotional pain involved, but will be more likely reach a result everyone is satisfied with.