http://peace-talks.com/divorcemediation/inside-the-mind-of-a-divorce-lawyer/ Just another WordPress weblog Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:08:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 http://peace-talks.com/divorcemediation/inside-the-mind-of-a-divorce-lawyer/#comment-94 Diane Sun, 20 Jul 2008 11:54:50 +0000 http://peace-talks.com/divorcemediation/inside-the-mind-of-a-divorce-lawyer/#comment-94 Hi -- I have been 34 years working with marital quality and divorce, and was on the first (Ahron's 30+ year study) which started in the 80's to challenge the Wallerstein "research" (which was really poor) and developed the term coparenting! So, reading this letter I have started to use it to explain to couples why they SHOULD talk to each other, should separate coparenting from finanical negotiations, and part of why they should use mediation or collaborative divorce --- these always save strain, money and often time. My own part of the research that Dr. Ahrons did in those studies showed how each year (of 5) legal acrimony made the adults and children in the family "sicker" -- and we used every control we could think of on a large community based random sample! Worse, in life, I've seen the attorneys wear out the parents, hype them up, use up the resources, and then when everyone in the family is exhausted, help them settle....SIGH -- this letter is a mild understatement! Thanks for posting it. Hi — I have been 34 years working with marital quality and divorce, and was on the first (Ahron’s 30+ year study) which started in the 80’s to challenge the Wallerstein “research” (which was really poor) and developed the term coparenting! So, reading this letter I have started to use it to explain to couples why they SHOULD talk to each other, should separate coparenting from finanical negotiations, and part of why they should use mediation or collaborative divorce — these always save strain, money and often time. My own part of the research that Dr. Ahrons did in those studies showed how each year (of 5) legal acrimony made the adults and children in the family “sicker” — and we used every control we could think of on a large community based random sample! Worse, in life, I’ve seen the attorneys wear out the parents, hype them up, use up the resources, and then when everyone in the family is exhausted, help them settle….SIGH — this letter is a mild understatement!
Thanks for posting it.

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