Divorce isn’t a failure, therapists say. In fact, it could mean the marriage was a success.
The overwhelming feeling of failureis almost impossible to avoid when divorce becomes a reality. We see this even in mediation where both parties are in agreement and it is, of course, worse for those in long litigations. The difficulties that accompany this feeling can lead to more uncertainty in making important valuations and decisions during the process.
This interview with Hal Runkel, a marriage and family therapist, makes some excellent points about shaping a positive viewpoint on the situation. What makes mediation different is the choice to “take control” of the process instead of leaving it up to a third party.
Here are a few key ideas from the interview:
“Marriage, he told me, ” is perfectly designed to help you grow up. It challenges your blind spots.”
Marriage will expose your selfishness.
What sometimes happens is that one or both partners change so drastically that they come to the realization that their marriage isn’t helping them live the life they want.
Making a mature decision in that direction may be the best outcome of all.
Shana Lebowitz Senior Reporter, Strategy (Business Insider)