What is Parental Alienation?

Little girl hugging her mom.Couples can go back and forth arguing and blaming each other for their marriage falling apart.

When there are children involved, couples can take it to the next level by using their children as living chess pawns, moving them into a strategy that will work for one parent’s divorce plan and not the other’s. This is often called Parental Alienation.

We commonly see extreme alienation play out in litigated court divorces, where the goal is to pit the parents against each other, and the result is never win-win.

The term “Parental Alienation” is relatively new, but the act of alienating is not. Here are some signs to look for:

  • The children do not have one positive memory of you
  • Your child cannot seem to get emotionally close to you as they once did before the marital issues, and there is no evidence of abuse, neglect or poor parenting
  • Your spouse is drastically limiting contact with your child, virtually or in-person
  • The other parent is withholding their love of the child if they love you instead
  • They are telling your child that you do not love them or want to be around them
  • Your ex is forcing the child to reject you or stop contacting you

Parental alienation does not often occur when you use the collaborative or mediation process because the main goal is to bring both of you to an amicable emotional place.  The goal is to have respectful conversations and work towards a co-parenting plan that keeps your children’s best interest in mind.

At Peace Talks, our custody mediation and parenting plan mediation services assist divorced, divorcing, and never-married parents in working together to develop a child-centered custody plan and improve your ability to co-parent.

Contact us today to see how we can help both you and your spouse divorce in a way the keeps your family unit intact.

Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax/or mental health advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, mental health or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.

Modifying Custody Agreement

Getting a divorce is never a simple, once and done deal, even though our clients sometimes wish it would be that way.

Life changes in the blink of an eye, and with that blink, comes changes that may not have been expected when your divorce was agreed upon.  Therefore, divorce agreements often need to be modified to reflect those changes and better serve the best interest of your child(ren).

It’s not uncommon for divorced couples who are co-parenting children to go back and modify their custody agreement, and possibly their child support payments.

There are many reasons why this may need to take place:

  • Job location
  • Lack of co-parenting at the level agreed upon
  • Medical needs (parents or child)
  • Financial hardship
  • Change in income
  • The child desires more time with each parent
  • Change in child’s expense needs
  • Change in living condition or location of parent’s home
  • Death of a parent

Each state has its own guidelines on what precedents could warrant a change, so it’s important to check what applies in your state.

Keep in mind, to succeed in making custody changes, there must be a very significant reason in which to do so. It can’t be because your co-parenting plan is no longer working as you would like it to be.

You will also want to understand how monthly financial child support payments and tax responsibilities will change in the future.

Modifying your custody agreement using the collaborative divorce process can help your family work through the changes in a non-adversarial, litigated manner with the assistance of family mediators.

Our team of experts can help you and your spouse develop a modified custody plan that is agreeable to both parents.

At Peace Talks Mediation Services, our custody mediation and parenting plan mediation services assist divorced, divorcing, and never-married parents in working together to develop a child-centered custody plan and improve your ability to co-parent.

Contact us today for a FREE CONSULT to see how we can help you and your ex work by modifying your custody agreement to meet everyone’s needs.

Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.

How Can A Collaborative Divorce Help Your Children Through Your Divorce?

Little girl with arms around little boy.Getting a divorce is never easy, especially when children are involved!

When you choose the collaborative divorce process, it encompasses everyone’s wellbeing and works with the family as a whole. It doesn’t pit spouses against each other. Its goal is to learn to communicate with each person and mediate an amicable agreement for each spouse.

This process works as a team model, employing lawyers, mediators, divorce coaches, financial neutrals, child life specialists and psychologists — everyone on the team, including the couple, vow to resolve issues without going to court.

There are many ways the collaborative divorce process is pro-family and pro-child. Here are a few:

  • Children are priority #1 in the decision-making process
  • When the child sees their parents working together, the children have a healthier emotional outcome
  • Child life specialist and psychologist work with your children to process the separation and deal with the emotions that arise
  • Team members help encourage discussions to keep the process moving forward
  • Can help develop co-parenting plans such as future visitation, vacation and holiday plans

The collaborative divorce process is not a scorched earth model. It is more collaborative than contentious. By encouraging communication, the walls come down, and the family unit can move forward healthily.

The collaborative divorce process is an alternative dispute resolution method that can help you maintain your family unit while staying away from court litigation.

Our team of experts can help you and your spouse to develop a dialogue that will shield your children from the raw emotion that divorce brings.

At Peace Talks, our custody mediation and parenting plan mediation services assist divorced, divorcing, and never-married parents in working together to develop a child-centered custody plan and improve your ability to co-parent.

Contact us today to see how we can help both you and your spouse divorce in a way the keeps your family unit intact.

Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax/or medical advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, medical or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.

Tips on How to Tell Your Children You Are Getting a Divorce

couple walking in the woods with their 2 children

One of the hardest moments in a divorce is sharing with your children that you and your spouse will be separating. It’s so hard to know how to start and have such an awkward conversation.

Here are some tips we like to share with our clients to help them in having this painful dialogue:

  • Make sure you are 100% sure that a divorce will be occurring prior to telling your children
  • Weekend mornings are a good time
  • The age of your children will determine how much detail will be shared
    • Keep it simple
    • Stay away from inappropriate information
  • Every family member should be present, including both parents
  • Keep a unified front
  • Let them know how much you love them and your divorce is not their fault and that you both are happy they were born
  • Share with them that you are still a family, just restructured
  • Let them know some of the future plans involving your divorce
  • Share with them that they will be living in two homes and will still see both of you regularly

Often in our lives, we are faced with life-altering conversations, and more often than not, it won’t be black & white, it will be various shades of gray. This talk will not be a one and done, it will be an ongoing and evolving dialogue.

Our team of experts can help you and your spouse to develop a dialogue that will shield your children from the raw emotion that divorce brings.

At Peace Talks Mediation Services, our custody mediation and parenting plan mediation services assist divorced, divorcing, and never-married parents in working together to develop a child-centered custody plan and improve your ability to co-parent.

Contact us today to see how we can help you and your spouse handle this life-changing conversation.

Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.