411 on Prenuptial Agreements and Premarital Agreements
What You Need to Know About Prenuptial Agreements
Even though prenuptial agreements get a really bad rap, they’re vital documents that protect both people about to enter into marriage. It’s all about your approach. By having a calm and logical conversation before pulling out any documents, you stand a much better chance of keeping things civil and pleasant.
Discussing Prenups
Let’s face it: talking about money with your significant other (or anyone else, for that matter) is difficult. It can be awkward and uncomfortable. What makes it worse is talking about a prenup means acknowledging the potential of divorcing one day.
Not exactly how you want to start a marriage, but the sooner you get it out of the way, the better.
Because this isn’t about suddenly falling out of love or something like that. Things that are planted in the relationship years before cause most divorces. Whether it’s unfaithfulness, spouse or child illness, or a family death, divorce can happen for a variety of reasons and is triggered by large life events or changes.
These are very serious potential issues you could face as a couple. They’d be hard to talk about should they arise. So think of it this way: talking about how you’d divide your money and property in case of a divorce doesn’t sound so bad when compared to these major life issues, right? Just try to keep things in perspective.
Avoiding Conflict is the Problem
People naturally like to avoid conflict. If it’s uncomfortable, they avoid discussing it. But this could leave some vital things left hidden until it’s too late to resolve amicably. People avoid issues until they become too big and too daunting to face. And if you’re on the verge of divorce, suddenly having to talk about money and who gets what can lead to animosity. That’s why it’s much better to figure out these issues early on, before you’re married.
And think of it this way: if you can talk about a prenuptial agreement, you’ll strengthen your bond and prepare your relationship to talk about anything that arises during your marriage. Life is stressful and you need to be prepared to talk about it. No matter how difficult. So get the prenup thing out of the way first. You may not even need a legal document to get this squared away. Just talking about it might be enough for you two.
Then you’ll be ready to tackle the really big issues later on once you’re married.