Affairs don’t cause divorce. Financial arguments don’t cause divorce. Marriages break down through erosion. When you think about divorce, most people think that a divorce is one person’s fault, and that there was a specific cause of the divorce. But the causes of divorce are never just one person’s doing, and the event that triggered…

Uncontested Divorce in California is becoming more and more common.  As more people embrace the idea of mediation, collaborative divorce, and even settling things themselves without going to court, more and more divorces are uncontested.                       It makes sense when you think about it:   Courts…

There are huge advantages when you mediate your divorce, family law, custody, child support, alimony, spousal support or modification.  If you’ve spent any time at all on our web site, you already know how passionate we are about mediation and its benefits. We saw a new couple this week for mediation.  They’d already spent about…

The path to uncontested divorce in California, or anywhere else, is not always an easy one. Let’s face it, the thought of divorce can be pretty upsetting, scary, sad and everything in between.  So sometimes divorces start with a bang–intimidating court paperwork which is sometimes served on the other party (who may be unsuspecting) in…

I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 22 years (youthful appearance notwithstanding!) and I’ve learned a lot about what works and what does not work when you’re getting divorced. I also got divorced myself. That was a big lesson, too.  Thankfully it was on the “what works” list as opposed to the “what doesn’t work” list.…

An accountant is helping one of our clients with some of the required financial documents for the divorce.  “I don’t want to ruin your strategy,” he says, “but I really think the [other party] ought to know about this.” Strategy?  How’s this for “strategy?”  How’s about you do whatever is necessary to help people reach…

I’mhappy to announce that my Huffington Post blog, Insiders’ Divorce Advice, was published today! I love blogging for the Huffington Post.  You can read my by-line here:  Diana Mercer Huff Po Divorce blog.

Divorce Advice I Give My Friends I’ve been a divorce attorney for 23 years (youthful appearance notwithstanding).  As you might guess, every single one of my friends (including Facebook friends) ask me for my advice when getting divorced. I’ve written a couple of books about divorce, and that’s where the official advice is.  This is…

At what price sanity? I’m no stranger to divorce during bad financial times.  I was admitted to the bar in 1988, during a huge financial downturn. Pretty quickly after that, there was a huge mortgage meltdown, sort of like what’s happening now, and everyone’s house was upside down (they owed more than it was worth).…

Divorce and Graphotherapy Guest blog post by Sheila Lowe, MS www.sheilalowe.com Divorce sucks. No point denying it. Whether you’ve grown to hate the person you once loved or the parting is amicable, when it comes to ending it all, you still have to grieve for the hopes and dreams you once shared. It’s stressful, it’s…

California has its own personality with divorce.  One of only 9 states that follows Community Property law, California seems intent on doing things its own way. But a divorce in California doesn’t need to be complicated. At least not the legal part. Mediation provides a way for couples to get divorced in a respectful, thoughtful…

Shared Custody Schedules.  When you’ve been married you’ve been parenting together, the idea of seeing your kids on a schedule probably seems pretty foreign. It’s a divorce and separation reality, however. There are a few things to keep in mind to help you be successful at shared, cooperative co-parenting: It will take some time for…

In response to the recession, Peace Talks now offers a couple of new services for low cost divorce and uncontested divorce California. I hope you’ll keep us in mind if you come across couples needing either of the following, or if you need these kinds of services yourself: 1) $995 paperwork only service: for couples…

What Causes Divorce?         You hear a lot about the reasons marriages end. Usually, fingers point to affairs or money. But marriages don’t end because of events. In 23 years of practice, we have found that divorce occurs when a couple has turned from one another and looked for satisfaction outside of the marriage.…

Tips for Co-Parenting after Divorce This is a guest blog by Scott Morgan, a board certified Austin Divorce Lawyer. Co-parenting after divorce can seem daunting, but it is entirely possible to establish a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse. The most important thing to remember is to put your children’s well-being ahead of your own…

More and more people are choosing mediation rather than litigation.  Why it has taken so long to catch on, when the benefits of mediation are obvious, is beyond me, but better late than never. There are huge advantages when you mediate your divorce, family law, custody, child support, alimony, spousal support or modification issue.  If…

There’s often a lot of grandstanding in divorce court proceedings. A lot of people say, “I’ll see you in court!” not knowing exactly what that means.  In the moment, they don’t like what they’re hearing, whether it’s in mediation or around the kitchen table, so they say, I’m done with this!” not realizing that saying “no”…

Causes of Divorce  “Seriously?  You want to end this?  You want a divorce?  I mean, I know we’ve had problems.  I’ve tried to change.  I’ll be better.  Is this really what you want to do?”  If you’ve said those words or heard those words, it can be crushing either way you look at it.  Divorce…

Putting a price on sanity? There have been so many articles on people who aren’t getting divorced because they “can’t afford it” that it’s making me a little alarmed. The monetary cost of divorce is one thing. Certainly, divorce mediation is a less costly alternative to fighting it out in court, especially when finances are…

Setting Clear Boundaries Often, your marital or domestic situation does not meet the level of serious violence where you have to flee, but you are subject to consistent intimidation or abuse. These actions are also a form of violence or battering, and also an indication of the deterioration in your relationship. Understand that when you…

Well, there’s really no improvements on divorce and custody litigation. But mediation is definitely a better way to go.  Less costly, faster, confidential, on your schedule, tailored to your needs….the benefits of mediation are pretty clear. When you mediate your divorce, family law, custody, child support, alimony, spousal support or modification issue you don’t have…

I know it’s an oxymoron:  nobody wants a divorce, so how could one be good? But when you’re faced with divorce, you have lots of opportunties to make it less bad (if not actually good, at least in the long run, in hindsight). I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 24 years, and expert on what…

Family Mediation and Failure Many clients have told me that they viewed getting divorced as a their greatest failure as an adult.  Even their body language told me they weren’t so proud to be in my office speaking with me about it. When you do take that oath and enter into those sacred bonds of…

The TRUTH IS IRRELEVANT IN DIVORCE. I know that sounds like crazy talk. But think about it this way: When we think of disputes, most of us think that the truth is the key to the resolution of any disagreement.  Get to the truth, and you have the resolution to the conflict. Yet, despite the…

Kids and Custody Do you remember being a kid?  At my age it’s a little blurry, but I can tell you that adults often misunderstand how kids behave and think.  Children are often smarter and more creative than we give them credit for.  As a toddler I distinctly remember being able to understand that my…

I went to a meeting today with the Honorable Thomas Trent Lewis at the Los Angeles Superior Court. He wanted to update the family law bar, forensic accountants, and custody expert witnesses about what exactly is going on at the court given all the budget cuts. It was pretty interesting. Infuriating, but interesting. Background below.…

You Want an Uncontested Divorce….but how do you get there? The concept of divorce mediation is relatively new, but recently it has been getting a lot more attention.  Especially in Los Angeles, more and more people are starting to appreciate the benefits of an uncontested divorce.  Collaborative divorce and other divorce alternatives, once considered fringe,…

Here at Peace Talks, we love Mediation.  If you’ve spent any time looking through our site and blog posts, you know that already.  It’s an easy sell, because, to us, it’s a no-brainer.  Just look at a recent example: one couple came into our Los Angeles office looking to get a divorce settlement through mediation. …

As a divorce lawyer and mediator here in Los Angeles, California, I get the opportunity to see a lot of clients with varied backgrounds and personalities.  There are common threads you can pick up on as a mediator that can help you diagnose each situation with just a short interview. This initial diagnosis allows me…

  “Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” That’s a quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell and couldn’t be more true today.  As a divorce attorney, you’re preparation is a lot different than it is as a Mediator.  I would know, I am currently a Mediator dedicated exclusively to family law, divorce settlements and…

I have a 25 hour beginning family law mediation course on DVD which I sell on my web site and Amazon.com. As a result, I get questions about how to mediate from some of the “students” of this taped course.  One in particular, a lawyer up north, is my new pen pal of sorts. I’m…

REVIEW: HBO’s DON’T DIVORCE ME   Review by Janae Monroe   Peace Talks Mediation Services   peace-talks.com Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, especially the children. While parents intend to put their children first, sometimes finances and personal needs get in the way. Using interviews, drawings, songs, photos and handwritten rules, Don’t Divorce Me goes…

  If you’re reading this, you’re probably not in such a good place right now.  However it happens, realizing that your marriage doesn’t make you happy and that something has to change is a tough spot.  You might be early on in the process.  Or maybe you’re not looking forward to doing battle with your…

A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict Key 1: Be hard on the problem, not the people. We made this the first conflict resolution skill because it’s likely the first one you’ll put to use.  Right now, it may be hard not to see your spouse as the problem, as the reason for your divorce. …

A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict Key 2: Understand that Acknowledging and Listening are NOT the same as Obeying You may be tempted to issue decrees as you deal with your spouse over your divorce.

A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict Key 3: Use I-Statements When you’ve spent the better part of your working life mediating and finding peaceful resolutions to conflicts, you begin to see patterns of both conflict and resolution.  In our divorce mediation practice, we’re big fans of  “I” statements.  “I” statements are conflict resolution magic.…

A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict Key 4: Give the Benefit of the Doubt. It’s hard to say which of these keys to resolving conflict we like the most. They have all become repeatedly handy with our clients. Before, during and after your divorce, you’re going to have lots of opportunities to test your…

A Divorce Mission Statement Have you thought about how you want your divorce to go?  What’s your ideal resolution?  Do you see a clear winner or loser?  Divorce is one of those areas where the questions you have now will almost always lead to even more questions.  One thing you can do to exercise control…

Staying Focused On What Matters This Holiday Season For most children, the holidays are an exciting time that they look forward to all year. However for some, especially those whose parents are separated, they can be dispiriting and difficult. For tips on how to keep your child happy and upbeat during this season, read the…

Divorce Wisdom: A Thank You Note to my Former Husband   While it’s tempting to just remember the bad parts of your marriage, especially when you’re in the middle of your divorce, it’s also important to remember what you learned from each other, and what you gave to each other when the marriage was good.…

Peace of Mind Collaborative and the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association are pleased to present a community-based series of Divorce Options

Why Your Kids will Thank you for Mediating By Alan Brady, guest blogger   Finding a way to share custody of childrenafter a divorce can be an incredibly difficult task. In an ideal situation, each parent will behave with maturity and reason, focusing solely on the needs of the child or children involved and honestly…

Low Cost  Mediation Services Peace Talks Mediation Services offers a sliding scale for couples who earn less than $100,000 (total) and who have less than $200,000 in net assets.  There is also a “mediator in training” program with significantly reduced fees for couples who can’t afford the sliding scale and who don’t mind working with…

Divorce Resolution Continuum By Diana Mercer, Attorney-Mediator, copyright 2013   The decision to divorce is followed by a number of choices for how a case might be filed and later resolved.  Some of the steps are a loop, and others may be mixed and matched, but the general continuum, from least confrontational to most confrontational,…

Streamlined Collaborative Practice Protocols Training June 6-8, 2013 Skirball Center Los Angeles, CA   I’ve had a few people ask if it’s “worth it” to come to the Streamlined Collaborative Practice Protocols Training June 6-8, 2013.  I wouldn’t plunk down $895-$1395 (depending on when you register) without asking a few questions, either. For Registration Click…

Streamlined Collaborative Practice Protocols Training June 6-8, 2013 Skirball Center Los Angeles, CA The Marina Collaborative Divorce Practice Group along with Co-Sponsor, the Southern California Mediation Association, are excited to announce our upcoming Three-Day Collaborative Practice Training June 6-8, 2013  in Los Angeles, California at the beautiful Skirball Center.     Why this training is different: This…

Streamlined Collaborative Practice Protocols Training June 6-8, 2013 Skirball Center Los Angeles, CA The Marina Collaborative Divorce Practice Group along with Co-Sponsor, the Southern California Mediation Association, are excited to announce our upcoming Three-Day Collaborative Practice Training June 6-8, 2013  in Los Angeles, California at the beautiful Skirball Center.     Why this training is different: This…

Mediation Training Reviews: Center for Civic Mediation (live) and Peace Talks Mediation Services DVDs