Affairs don’t cause divorce. Financial arguments don’t cause divorce. Marriages break down through erosion. When you think about divorce, most people think that a divorce is one person’s fault, and that there was a specific cause of the divorce.  But the causes of divorce are never just one person’s doing, and the event that triggered…

Uncontested Divorce in California is becoming more and more common.  As more people embrace the idea of mediation, collaborative divorce, and even settling things themselves without going to court, more and more divorces are uncontested.                       It makes sense when you think about it:   Courts…

There are huge advantages when you mediate your divorce, family law, custody, child support, alimony, spousal support or modification.  If you’ve spent any time at all on our web site, you already know how passionate we are about mediation and its benefits. We saw a new couple this week for mediation.  They’d already spent about…

The path to uncontested divorce in California, or anywhere else, is not always an easy one. Let’s face it, the thought of divorce can be pretty upsetting, scary, sad and everything in between.  So sometimes divorces start with a bang–intimidating court paperwork which is sometimes served on the other party (who may be unsuspecting) in…

I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 22 years (youthful appearance notwithstanding!) and I’ve learned a lot about what works and what does not work when you’re getting divorced. I also got divorced myself. That was a big lesson, too. Thankfully it was on the “what works” list as opposed to the “what doesn’t work” list.…

An accountant is helping one of our clients with some of the required financial documents for the divorce.  “I don’t want to ruin your strategy,” he says, “but I really think the [other party] ought to know about this.” Strategy?  How’s this for “strategy?”  How’s about you do whatever is necessary to help people reach…

Divorce Advice I Give My Friends I’ve been a divorce attorney for 23 years (youthful appearance notwithstanding).

We see a lot of grandstanding in mediation. I think a lot of clients think they’re going to get To Kill a Mockingbird Atticus Finch style attention in court.  The sad truth is, however, that if you get 10 minutes you’re lucky. I know you don’t believe me. Nobody does until they actually spend the…

For those of you who’ve found this blog, but not the Making Divorce Work blog, I actually maintain 2 blogs. This one, the Peace Talks blog, is pretty straightforward. Mostly mediation and legal information and advice, in a sort of op-ed type format. The 2nd blog is much more personal. I’ve found that as a…

Shared Custody Schedules.  When you’ve been married you’ve been parenting together, the idea of seeing your kids on a schedule probably seems pretty foreign. It’s a divorce and separation reality, however. There are a few things to keep in mind to help you be successful at shared, cooperative co-parenting: It will take some time for…

In response to the recession, Peace Talks now offers a couple of new services for low cost divorce and uncontested divorce California. I hope you’ll keep us in mind if you come across couples needing either of the following, or if you need these kinds of services yourself: 1) $995 paperwork only service: for couples…

What Causes Divorce?         You hear a lot about the reasons marriages end. Usually, fingers point to affairs or money. But marriages don’t end because of events. In 23 years of practice, we have found that divorce occurs when a couple has turned from one another and looked for satisfaction outside of the marriage.…

Tips for Co-Parenting after Divorce This is a guest blog by Scott Morgan, a board certified Austin Divorce Lawyer. Co-parenting after divorce can seem daunting, but it is entirely possible to establish a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse. The most important thing to remember is to put your children’s well-being ahead of your own…

Putting a price on sanity? There have been so many articles on people who aren’t getting divorced because they “can’t afford it” that it’s making me a little alarmed. The monetary cost of divorce is one thing. Certainly, divorce mediation is a less costly alternative to fighting it out in court, especially when finances are…

Divorce in California Divorce law varies state-to-state, and California has the distinction of being one of 9 states that have enacted a Community Property law. As a divorce lawyer in Los Angeles, this actually simplifies things (at least initially) because California follows the 50/50 rule. Partners each get 50% of their collective property from the…

Setting Clear Boundaries Often, your marital or domestic situation does not meet the level of serious violence where you have to flee, but you are subject to consistent intimidation or abuse. These actions are also a form of violence or battering, and also an indication of the deterioration in your relationship. Understand that when you…

Well, there’s really no improvements on divorce and custody litigation. But mediation is definitely a better way to go. Less costly, faster, confidential, on your schedule, tailored to your needs….the benefits of mediation are pretty clear. When you mediate your divorce, family law, custody, child support, alimony, spousal support or modification issue you don’t have…

I know it’s an oxymoron: nobody wants a divorce, so how could one be good? But when you’re faced with divorce, you have lots of opportunties to make it less bad (if not actually good, at least in the long run, in hindsight). I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 24 years, and expert on what…

Family Mediation and Failure Many clients have told me that they viewed getting divorced as a their greatest failure as an adult. Even their body language told me they weren’t so proud to be in my office speaking with me about it. When you do take that oath and enter into those sacred bonds of…

The TRUTH IS IRRELEVANT IN DIVORCE. I know that sounds like crazy talk. But think about it this way: When we think of disputes, most of us think that the truth is the key to the resolution of any disagreement.  Get to the truth, and you have the resolution to the conflict. Yet, despite the…

Kids and Custody Do you remember being a kid?  At my age it’s a little blurry, but I can tell you that adults often misunderstand how kids behave and think.  Children are often smarter and more creative than we give them credit for.  As a toddler I distinctly remember being able to understand that my…

What Causes Divorce? When thinking about how marriages end, people often look towards distinct events like affairs or money-related problems.  What we’ve found in our 20+ years of experience is that typically this is not the case.  Divorces follow a more basic form of separation: when partners turn away from one another to seek gratification…

I went to a meeting today with the Honorable Thomas Trent Lewis at the Los Angeles Superior Court. He wanted to update the family law bar, forensic accountants, and custody expert witnesses about what exactly is going on at the court given all the budget cuts. It was pretty interesting. Infuriating, but interesting. Background below.…

There are eight peace practices which are free and easy to stick to every day. They’ll help you stay sane no matter what, and we all know that sanity is at a premium at the moment of any divorce. An excerpt from the 8 Peace Practices chapter of Making Divorce Work, our comprehensive book on cooperative…

I know. It’s an oxymoron–nobody wants a divorce to begin with, so how could a divorce be good?  There are a lot of ways to make the best of the situation when you’re faced with a divorce. I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 22 years, and expert on what works best for both parties when…

Divorce Advice I Give My Friends I’ve been a divorce attorney for 24 years (youthful appearance notwithstanding).  As yo might guess, every single one of my friends (including Facebook friends) ask me for my advice when getting divorced. I’ve written a couple of books about divorce, and that’s where the official advice is.  This is…

You Want an Uncontested Divorce….but how do you get there? The concept of divorce mediation is relatively new, but recently it has been getting a lot more attention.  Especially in Los Angeles, more and more people are starting to appreciate the benefits of an uncontested divorce.  Collaborative divorce and other divorce alternatives, once considered fringe,…

I get asked a lot about Child Custody.  It’s not surprising, since a parent’s love for their children is bigger than any financial settlement.  Oftentimes, a parent feels that getting more time with the child is worth more than any divorce settlement can buy.  Unfortunately, as a mediator specializing in divorce and child custody here…

Eleven years ago, I traded in my fancy shmancy car for a used Honda Accord.  It wasn’t just a symbolic act; I knew I was going to need the money I would save on car payments.  You see, I had just made the biggest decision of my professional life.  I had decided to become a…

As a divorce lawyer and mediator here in Los Angeles, California, I get the opportunity to see a lot of clients with varied backgrounds and personalities.  There are common threads you can pick up on as a mediator that can help you diagnose each situation with just a short interview. This initial diagnosis allows me…

  “Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” That’s a quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell and couldn’t be more true today.  As a divorce attorney, you’re preparation is a lot different than it is as a Mediator.  I would know, I am currently a Mediator dedicated exclusively to family law, divorce settlements and…

REVIEW: HBO’s DON’T DIVORCE ME   Review by Janae Monroe   Peace Talks Mediation Services   peace-talks.com Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, especially the children. While parents intend to put their children first, sometimes finances and personal needs get in the way. Using interviews, drawings, songs, photos and handwritten rules, Don’t Divorce Me goes…

A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict  Key 2: Understand that Acknowledging and Listening are NOT the same as Obeying   You may be tempted to issue decrees as you deal with your spouse over your divorce.  It might seem a whole lot easier to lay down the law and have those around you adhere…

A Divorce Mission Statement Have you thought about how you want your divorce to go?

Low Cost  Mediation Services Peace Talks Mediation Services offers a sliding scale for couples who earn less than $100,000 (total) and who have less than $200,000 in net assets.  There is also a “mediator in training” program with significantly reduced fees for couples who can’t afford the sliding scale and who don’t mind working with…

Mediation Training Reviews: Center for Civic Mediation (live) and Peace Talks Mediation Services DVDs