We see a lot of grandstanding in mediation. I think a lot of clients think they’re going to get To Kill a Mockingbird Atticus Finch style attention in court. The sad truth is, however, that if you get 10 minutes you’re lucky. I know you don’t believe me. Nobody does until they actually spend the…

For those of you who’ve found this blog, but not the Making Divorce Work blog, I actually maintain 2 blogs. This one, the Peace Talks blog, is pretty straightforward. Mostly mediation and legal information and advice, in a sort of op-ed type format. The 2nd blog is much more personal. I’ve found that as a…

What Causes Divorce?         You hear a lot about the reasons marriages end. Usually, fingers point to affairs or money. But marriages don’t end because of events. In 23 years of practice, we have found that divorce occurs when a couple has turned from one another and looked for satisfaction outside of the marriage.…

Causes of Divorce  “Seriously?  You want to end this?  You want a divorce?  I mean, I know we’ve had problems.  I’ve tried to change.  I’ll be better.  Is this really what you want to do?”  If you’ve said those words or heard those words, it can be crushing either way you look at it.  Divorce…

Putting a price on sanity? There have been so many articles on people who aren’t getting divorced because they “can’t afford it” that it’s making me a little alarmed. The monetary cost of divorce is one thing. Certainly, divorce mediation is a less costly alternative to fighting it out in court, especially when finances are…

I know it’s an oxymoron:  nobody wants a divorce, so how could one be good? But when you’re faced with divorce, you have lots of opportunties to make it less bad (if not actually good, at least in the long run, in hindsight). I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 24 years, and expert on what…

Family Mediation and Failure Many clients have told me that they viewed getting divorced as a their greatest failure as an adult.  Even their body language told me they weren’t so proud to be in my office speaking with me about it. When you do take that oath and enter into those sacred bonds of…

In response to the recession, Peace Talks now offers a couple of new services. I hope you’ll keep us in mind if you come across couples needing either of the following: 1) $995 paperwork only service: for couples who already have an agreement and who just need the paperwork, we’ll do all of that for…

What Causes Divorce? When thinking about how marriages end, people often look towards distinct events like affairs or money-related problems.  What we’ve found in our 20+ years of experience is that typically this is not the case.  Divorces follow a more basic form of separation: when partners turn away from one another to seek gratification…

Divorce Advice I Give My Friends I’ve been a divorce attorney for 24 years (youthful appearance notwithstanding).  As yo might guess, every single one of my friends (including Facebook friends) ask me for my advice when getting divorced. I’ve written a couple of books about divorce, and that’s where the official advice is.  This is…

Eleven years ago, I traded in my fancy shmancy car for a used Honda Accord.  It wasn’t just a symbolic act; I knew I was going to need the money I would save on car payments.  You see, I had just made the biggest decision of my professional life.  I had decided to become a…

  “Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” That’s a quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell and couldn’t be more true today.  As a divorce attorney, you’re preparation is a lot different than it is as a Mediator.  I would know, I am currently a Mediator dedicated exclusively to family law, divorce settlements and…

This is an excerpt from Making Divorce Work.  I’m really proud of this chapter….it was difficult to explain in a few pages how to successfully negotiate a divorce settlement.  But I think I did it!  How to Negotiate Your Divorce Settlement is the excerpt published by Mediate.com.   Mediate.com, by the way, is a great place to find…

Divorce Resolution Continuum By Diana Mercer, Attorney-Mediator, copyright 2013   The decision to divorce is followed by a number of choices for how a case might be filed and later resolved.  Some of the steps are a loop, and others may be mixed and matched, but the general continuum, from least confrontational to most confrontational,…