Divorce can be financially challenging, but you can navigate it smoothly with the right steps, especially through mediation. At Peace Talks, we specialize in helping couples achieve amicable divorces, including handling their finances sensibly. Here’s a guide to financial steps to take when you are divorcing: Achieving an amicable divorce while managing your finances sensibly…
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When you find yourself on the divorce road, you know in your gut that everything you hold dear will change. You will find yourself with a different financial portfolio, often shared with your ex. Time and again our clients will share their concerns with our financial mediators about how the divorce will impact them financially…
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While going through a divorce can be one of life’s most stressful events, that stress can be reduced by keeping the conflict low. The first step in keeping conflict low is practicing self-care during this challenging time. Treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and sensitivity is essential. We want to make decisions for ourselves, and our…
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You and your spouse have decided to separate, and you are looking for an amicable split. What is the best approach? Collaborative Divorce is an alternative option to litigation that provides more professional support to each individual during the divorce process. Each party agrees to stay out of court, and retains their own lawyer, divorce…
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When going through a divorce, your emotions can feel like a never-ending grief rollercoaster and the ups and downs of this emotional journey can be hard to understand. What you may not know is the grieving process during a divorce is like the grief experienced when someone passes away. Here are the five stages of…
Read More →Divorce mediators can make or break a divorce agreement. In order work with an effective divorce facilitator, you and your soon-to-be-ex need to vet them by asking a series of questions to determine if they can help meet both of your needs without going to court and draft a settlement that will be agreeable to…
Read More →Life is full of twist and turns! Often, we don’t know what road we should go down. The “divorce” road is filled with enormous potholes that wreak havoc on custody, property, financial and emotional agreements. It’s hard to know how to avoid these potholes. One of the things that can help keep you on the…
Read More →While many of us may believe that estate planning is only for the rich or the elderly, you should know that this process is essential if you have children. At Peace Talks Mediation, not only do we help you with divorce mediation, but we also recommend how you can protect your most precious “possessions” your…
Read More →I came across a nice synopsis of why mediation for your divorce may be the smartest choice. It is safe to say that most couples facing divorce expect the experience to be agonizing as well as exhausting. Ending a marriage, and the ensuing divorce, is one of the most emotional events of a lifetime. Since…
Read More →With just less than half of married partners ending in divorce, therapists over time have developed some suggestions for making the process possibly less painful for everyone. You will see from these suggestions why PeaceTalks always makes sure a therapist is available for both parties for every session. You can see a thread with these…
Read More →In getting to a mutually agreeable divorce settlement we make progress, literally, by getting couples to communicate with each other. Many couples find it difficult to communicate. Our therapist mediator will provide tools to better communication and can also facilitate a “difficult conversation.”Communication is an interactive process, and text messages can be a great way to stay…
Read More →The following was excerpted from an article in the Boston Herald by Wendy Hickey Should We Try Mediation? The answer is yes for most people. The majority of couples we see at PeaceTalks have enough common goals to negotiate an amicable and equitable settlement agreement. Since most people will listen to a neutral third-party guide in…
Read More →There are a lot of commonalities with divorce and lessons from shared experiences can be extremely helpful when going through extremely stressful situations like divorce negotiations. Some great suggestions were offered by a mediation expert named Oran Kaufman in a series of articles for Mediate.com and I wanted to pass along these very cogent, and…
Read More →I came across an article in Divorce Magazine by Susan E. Guthrie that echoed familiar misconceptions that we come across at PeaceTalks, as do many of our colleagues. Here are a few highlights and I’ve provided a link to the entire article, which makes some excellent points: Almost any divorce case, or really any family law matter,…
Read More →For people screening referrals they have received to mediation services some questions are best dealt with at the very beginning of the process. Even couples that may have already made a choice often benefit from getting some issues settled before the start of actual preparation and negotiation. Is the first consultation free? PeaceTalks does not…
Read More →Here are a few of the questions that come up most often when people are their evaluating their options in relation to the divorce process. If you have some questions about your own situation please contact the office anytime. How can I avoid going to court? If you use a mediation service the court will…
Read More →I came across this exchange with Jim Tankersley who covers economic and tax policy for The New York Times and Ailsa Chang from NPR. Jim gives a nice summary of the dynamics involved that are driving financial advisors to get a strategy in place for all their clients that are party to a divorce settlement before…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Co-parenting is tough enough without having to wonder if you’re one text away from that phone call from the Highway Patrol. Nobody wants to be the cop in the family even when it makes sense to everybody else. We all abuse the privilege of using the phone while driving so it’s tough…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Here it is again that time to start getting out and planning out some “away from the house” time. It seems to get tougher each year so we have to get more creative. Actual vacations involving travel are kind of a special event category and require detailed coordination never mind extraordinary cooperation.…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Every family that I interact with has difficulty creating and managing their time together. By definition, Divorce creates two entities from one source. With our technology, it sounds crazy to admit that we have trouble connecting with each other but that is the reality for a lot of people. This is all…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney As we finally are getting some much-needed rain I keep thinking about things, besides the social and political black holes, that are ripe for clean up. With a clearer picture of your finances under the new tax laws it’s probably not a bad idea to get an overview from your advisors about…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Every year around “Tax Time” consumers, across the board, get hit with opportunities to “turn that refund into a lot of money” and this year some of it is coming a “Bit Coin” at a time. Scams that have historically targeted retirees, widows and widowers are now bleeding out to include the…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney The more I read about how little time people have for things they’d like to do the question remains about how to make time for things they need to do. That always brings me around to creating opportunities for a friendly exchange of information in a relaxed setting. What we’re talking about…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Even if you don’t have “Olympic Fever” there are always some great moments worth watching. Because I skated competitively growing up in Minnesota I’m reminded how important teamwork is to even the individualevents. The research and planning that are part of the preparation process involve many people and have a lot to do with the final results.…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney The new tax legislation will necessitate adjustments for many people dealing with alimony payments-both paying and receiving. When you start to factor in things like tuition and college debt you get a sense of where your strategy needs to shift in order to maintain sufficient protection for your assets. Your tax advisor…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney If individual stocks or mutual funds are associated with your divorce, whether by mediation or litigation, don’t panic because of the recent market volatility. When people “inherit” equities it can take some time to learn how to properly keep track of them. In my many years in the investment sector I witnessed corrections similar…
Read More →Back in June there was a news story about Richard Williams, the father of Venus & Serena, seeking to evict his estranged wife from their Florida home. A few days ago the lawyer, Sandy Becher, for the wife spoke about the upcoming divorce in terms of new approach. “What’s next is we’ll take depositions of…
Read More →As difficult as the divorce process can be there are many subtle financial hurdles that can prove problematic even for an amicable agreement. What happens after the settlement is reached may not lead to the desired end of the agreement if the planning did not include qualifying for a loan. I read a story by Michele Martin,…
Read More →Divorce scenarios are typically stereotyped as long, drawn-out court battles over children and property. If you’re entering divorce proceedings for the first time, you should know there are other options to settle your divorce. You can opt for a more peaceful divorce through collaborative divorce mediation. We use a team approach to work together. What…
Read More →No divorce process is completely stress free, but if you choose mediation to settle your divorce case, you could save on time, stress, and money. While divorce mediation is not as common as traditional divorce litigation, there are many advantages to choosing divorce mediation that can benefit you, your spouse and your children. What is…
Read More →You have decided your marriage is not working out. You want to divorce, but your friends have told you horror stories about dragging your divorce through the court system. You remember reading an article about Gwyneth Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling” and her decision to use mediation instead of litigation. Where do you turn?? To collaborative divorce…
Read More →At Peace Talks, we know that the divorce process is stressful and creates emotional turmoil. And we also know that experiencing the winter holidays for the first time as divorced or divorcing can spike emotions to a whole other level. Especially if you have children, how can you keep the holiday spirit alive in the…
Read More →During the period of a peaceful divorce and emotional confusion, we sometimes say and write things to our partners that are offensive and inappropriate. Instead of clearly communicating our thoughts and calming down the situation, we respond with critical, judgmental words that inflame passions and throw fuel on the fire. Mr. Bill Eddy, LCSW and…
Read More →In California, there are three ways to end a marriage: divorce, legal separation, and annulment. At Peace Talks we want you to know your options and we will focus on legal separation in this article. The process for a legal separation is similar to filing for a divorce, but there are some distinct considerations you…
Read More →Congratulations! You are considering mediation as the process for resolving your divorce. In contrast to litigation, mediation is the sane, efficient and cost effective way to work through your potentially difficult issues and preserve your family relationships. At Peace Talks, we use the “Team Mediation” approach and we want to share with you why this…
Read More →While California may be a “hot” state, we experience “cooling off” periods too. In a family law context, this “cooling off” specifically applies to the amount of time that must pass before a divorce is final. The theory behind this “cooling off” period is to prevent couples from rushing to divorce. In California, the law…
Read More →Today, communication is instantaneous. Like the phrase, “a shot heard around the world”, an online post is sent into the media stratosphere with the potential to surface anywhere, be read by anyone and unfortunately remain forever. You’re getting divorced. You may or may not be happy about this, or perhaps worse case scenario, you had…
Read More →Divorce Resolution Continuum By Diana Mercer, Attorney-Mediator, copyright 2003 The decision to divorce is followed by a number of choices for how a case might be filed and later resolved. Some of the steps are a loop, and others may be mixed and matched, but the general continuum, from least confrontational to most confrontational, is:…
Read More →There’s often a lot of grandstanding in divorce court proceedings. A lot of people say, “I’ll see you in court!” not knowing exactly what that means. In the moment, they don’t like what they’re hearing, whether it’s in mediation or around the kitchen table, so they say, I’m done with this!” not realizing that saying “no”…
Read More →Causes of Divorce “Seriously? You want to end this? You want a divorce? I mean, I know we’ve had problems. I’ve tried to change. I’ll be better. Is this really what you want to do?” If you’ve said those words or heard those words, it can be crushing either way you look at it. Divorce…
Read More →Putting a price on sanity? There have been so many articles on people who aren’t getting divorced because they “can’t afford it” that it’s making me a little alarmed. The monetary cost of divorce is one thing. Certainly, divorce mediation is a less costly alternative to fighting it out in court, especially when finances are…
Read More →Divorce in California Divorce law varies state-to-state, and California has the distinction of being one of 9 states that have enacted a Community Property law. As a divorce lawyer in Los Angeles, this actually simplifies things (at least initially) because California follows the 50/50 rule. Partners each get 50% of their collective property from the…
Read More →Setting Clear Boundaries Often, your marital or domestic situation does not meet the level of serious violence where you have to flee, but you are subject to consistent intimidation or abuse. These actions are also a form of violence or battering, and also an indication of the deterioration in your relationship. Understand that when you…
Read More →Well, there’s really no improvements on divorce and custody litigation. But mediation is definitely a better way to go. Less costly, faster, confidential, on your schedule, tailored to your needs….the benefits of mediation are pretty clear. When you mediate your divorce, family law, custody, child support, alimony, spousal support or modification issue you don’t have…
Read More →I know it’s an oxymoron: nobody wants a divorce, so how could one be good? But when you’re faced with divorce, you have lots of opportunties to make it less bad (if not actually good, at least in the long run, in hindsight). I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 24 years, and expert on what…
Read More →Family Mediation and Failure Many clients have told me that they viewed getting divorced as a their greatest failure as an adult. Even their body language told me they weren’t so proud to be in my office speaking with me about it. When you do take that oath and enter into those sacred bonds of…
Read More →Kids and Custody Do you remember being a kid? At my age it’s a little blurry, but I can tell you that adults often misunderstand how kids behave and think. Children are often smarter and more creative than we give them credit for. As a toddler I distinctly remember being able to understand that my…
Read More →In response to the recession, Peace Talks now offers a couple of new services. I hope you’ll keep us in mind if you come across couples needing either of the following: 1) $995 paperwork only service: for couples who already have an agreement and who just need the paperwork, we’ll do all of that for…
Read More →What Causes Divorce? When thinking about how marriages end, people often look towards distinct events like affairs or money-related problems. What we’ve found in our 20+ years of experience is that typically this is not the case. Divorces follow a more basic form of separation: when partners turn away from one another to seek gratification…
Read More →I went to a meeting today with the Honorable Thomas Trent Lewis at the Los Angeles Superior Court. He wanted to update the family law bar, forensic accountants, and custody expert witnesses about what exactly is going on at the court given all the budget cuts. It was pretty interesting. Infuriating, but interesting. Background below.…
Read More →I know. It’s an oxymoron–nobody wants a divorce to begin with, so how could a divorce be good? There are a lot of ways to make the best of the situation when you’re faced with a divorce. I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 22 years, and expert on what works best for both parties when…
Read More →You Want an Uncontested Divorce….but how do you get there? The concept of divorce mediation is relatively new, but recently it has been getting a lot more attention. Especially in Los Angeles, more and more people are starting to appreciate the benefits of an uncontested divorce. Collaborative divorce and other divorce alternatives, once considered fringe,…
Read More →I get asked a lot about Child Custody. It’s not surprising, since a parent’s love for their children is bigger than any financial settlement. Oftentimes, a parent feels that getting more time with the child is worth more than any divorce settlement can buy. Unfortunately, as a mediator specializing in divorce and child custody here…
Read More →Here at Peace Talks, we love Mediation. If you’ve spent any time looking through our site and blog posts, you know that already. It’s an easy sell, because, to us, it’s a no-brainer. Just look at a recent example: one couple came into our Los Angeles office looking to get a divorce settlement through mediation. …
Read More →Truth is a beloved institution. It’s the cornerstone of our legal system. “The Truth of the Matter.” “The Whole Truth, and Nothing But the Truth.” “I Want the Truth,” says Tom Cruise to a defiant Jack Nicholson. “You Can’t Handle The Truth,” he snorts back. This exchange from the movie A Few Good Men“helps to…
Read More →Eleven years ago, I traded in my fancy shmancy car for a used Honda Accord. It wasn’t just a symbolic act; I knew I was going to need the money I would save on car payments. You see, I had just made the biggest decision of my professional life. I had decided to become a…
Read More →As a divorce lawyer and mediator here in Los Angeles, California, I get the opportunity to see a lot of clients with varied backgrounds and personalities. There are common threads you can pick up on as a mediator that can help you diagnose each situation with just a short interview. This initial diagnosis allows me…
Read More →Choosing whether to proceed in court with a custody dispute is serious business. It affects your spouse, who you may be trying to deny custody altogether, but most especially, it affects your child or children, who may be forced to grow up without their birth father or mother as an active player in their on-going…
Read More →“Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” That’s a quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell and couldn’t be more true today. As a divorce attorney, you’re preparation is a lot different than it is as a Mediator. I would know, I am currently a Mediator dedicated exclusively to family law, divorce settlements and…
Read More →I have a 25 hour beginning family law mediation course on DVD which I sell on my web site and Amazon.com. As a result, I get questions about how to mediate from some of the “students” of this taped course. One in particular, a lawyer up north, is my new pen pal of sorts. I’m…
Read More →This is an excerpt from Making Divorce Work. I’m really proud of this chapter….it was difficult to explain in a few pages how to successfully negotiate a divorce settlement. But I think I did it! How to Negotiate Your Divorce Settlement is the excerpt published by Mediate.com. Mediate.com, by the way, is a great place to find…
Read More →REVIEW: HBO’s DON’T DIVORCE ME Review by Janae Monroe Peace Talks Mediation Services peace-talks.com Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, especially the children. While parents intend to put their children first, sometimes finances and personal needs get in the way. Using interviews, drawings, songs, photos and handwritten rules, Don’t Divorce Me goes…
Read More →If you’re reading this, you’re probably not in such a good place right now. However it happens, realizing that your marriage doesn’t make you happy and that something has to change is a tough spot. You might be early on in the process. Or maybe you’re not looking forward to doing battle with your…
Read More →You never thought it would happen to you, yet here you are faced with divorce. Maybe you asked for the divorce. Maybe you’re the one who is being left. Even if it is something you and your spouse both want equally, you are facing a crisis. You may be wondering why we’re talking about…
Read More →A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict Key 1: Be hard on the problem, not the people. We made this the first conflict resolution skill because it’s likely the first one you’ll put to use. Right now, it may be hard not to see your spouse as the problem, as the reason for your divorce. …
Read More →A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict Key 2: Understand that Acknowledging and Listening are NOT the same as Obeying You may be tempted to issue decrees as you deal with your spouse over your divorce. It might seem a whole lot easier to lay down the law and have those around you adhere…
Read More →A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict Key 3: Use I-Statements When you’ve spent the better part of your working life mediating and finding peaceful resolutions to conflicts, you begin to see patterns of both conflict and resolution. In our divorce mediation practice, we’re big fans of “I” statements. “I” statements are conflict resolution magic.…
Read More →A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict Key 4: Give the Benefit of the Doubt. It’s hard to say which of these keys to resolving conflict we like the most. They have all become repeatedly handy with our clients. Before, during and after your divorce, you’re going to have lots of opportunities to test your…
Read More →A Divorce Mission Statement Have you thought about how you want your divorce to go? What’s your ideal resolution? Do you see a clear winner or loser? Divorce is one of those areas where the questions you have now will almost always lead to even more questions. One thing you can do to exercise control…
Read More →Divorce Wisdom: A Thank You Note to my Former Husband While it’s tempting to just remember the bad parts of your marriage, especially when you’re in the middle of your divorce, it’s also important to remember what you learned from each other, and what you gave to each other when the marriage was good.…
Read More →Why Your Kids will Thank you for Mediating By Alan Brady, guest blogger Finding a way to share custody of childrenafter a divorce can be an incredibly difficult task. In an ideal situation, each parent will behave with maturity and reason, focusing solely on the needs of the child or children involved and honestly…
Read More →Low Cost Mediation Services Peace Talks Mediation Services offers a sliding scale for couples who earn less than $100,000 (total) and who have less than $200,000 in net assets. There is also a “mediator in training” program with significantly reduced fees for couples who can’t afford the sliding scale and who don’t mind working with…
Read More →Divorce Resolution Continuum By Diana Mercer, Attorney-Mediator, copyright 2013 The decision to divorce is followed by a number of choices for how a case might be filed and later resolved. Some of the steps are a loop, and others may be mixed and matched, but the general continuum, from least confrontational to most confrontational,…
Read More →Mediation Training Reviews: Center for Civic Mediation (live) and Peace Talks Mediation Services DVDs
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