Uncontested Divorce in California is becoming more and more common.  As more people embrace the idea of mediation, collaborative divorce, and even settling things themselves without going to court, more and more divorces are uncontested.                       It makes sense when you think about it:   Courts…

TRUTH IS IRRELEVANT All the time. Not just for mediators, and not just for ADR Services.  When we think of disputes, most people think that ascertaining the truth is the key to the resolution of a disagreement.  Find the truth, and you have the resolution to the conflict. Yet how many of us see “the…

There are huge advantages when you mediate your divorce, family law, custody, child support, alimony, spousal support or modification.  If you’ve spent any time at all on our web site, you already know how passionate we are about mediation and its benefits. We saw a new couple this week for mediation.  They’d already spent about…

There are 8 peace practices which are free and easy to practice every day. They’ll help you stay sane no matter what, and we all know that sanity is at a premium at the moment. An excerpt from the 8 Peace Practices chapter of Making Divorce Work, our latest book, was published by Mediate.com. Click…

As a family law mediator who mediates premarital agreements and prenuptial agreements, I’m often asked: What does a prenup look like? Do you have a sample? I’d love to be able to give out a generic sample prenup, but there really is no such thing.  Prenups are as individual as the couples themselves (isn’t this…

The path to uncontested divorce in California, or anywhere else, is not always an easy one. Let’s face it, the thought of divorce can be pretty upsetting, scary, sad and everything in between.  So sometimes divorces start with a bang–intimidating court paperwork which is sometimes served on the other party (who may be unsuspecting) in…

I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 22 years (youthful appearance notwithstanding!) and I’ve learned a lot about what works and what does not work when you’re getting divorced. I also got divorced myself. That was a big lesson, too.  Thankfully it was on the “what works” list as opposed to the “what doesn’t work” list.…

An accountant is helping one of our clients with some of the required financial documents for the divorce.  “I don’t want to ruin your strategy,” he says, “but I really think the [other party] ought to know about this.” Strategy?  How’s this for “strategy?”  How’s about you do whatever is necessary to help people reach…

We see a lot of grandstanding in mediation. I think a lot of clients think they’re going to get To Kill a Mockingbird Atticus Finch style attention in court.  The sad truth is, however, that if you get 10 minutes you’re lucky. I know you don’t believe me. Nobody does until they actually spend the…

For those of you who’ve found this blog, but not the Making Divorce Work blog, I actually maintain 2 blogs. This one, the Peace Talks blog, is pretty straightforward. Mostly mediation and legal information and advice, in a sort of op-ed type format. The 2nd blog is much more personal. I’ve found that as a…

At what price sanity? I’m no stranger to divorce during bad financial times.  I was admitted to the bar in 1988, during a huge financial downturn. Pretty quickly after that, there was a huge mortgage meltdown, sort of like what’s happening now, and everyone’s house was upside down (they owed more than it was worth).…

Divorce and Graphotherapy Guest blog post by Sheila Lowe, MS www.sheilalowe.com Divorce sucks. No point denying it. Whether you’ve grown to hate the person you once loved or the parting is amicable, when it comes to ending it all, you still have to grieve for the hopes and dreams you once shared. It’s stressful, it’s…

California has its own personality with divorce.  One of only 9 states that follows Community Property law, California seems intent on doing things its own way. But a divorce in California doesn’t need to be complicated. At least not the legal part. Mediation provides a way for couples to get divorced in a respectful, thoughtful…

Shared Custody Schedules.  When you’ve been married you’ve been parenting together, the idea of seeing your kids on a schedule probably seems pretty foreign. It’s a divorce and separation reality, however. There are a few things to keep in mind to help you be successful at shared, cooperative co-parenting: It will take some time for…

In response to the recession, Peace Talks now offers a couple of new services for low cost divorce and uncontested divorce California. I hope you’ll keep us in mind if you come across couples needing either of the following, or if you need these kinds of services yourself: 1) $995 paperwork only service: for couples…

What Causes Divorce?         You hear a lot about the reasons marriages end. Usually, fingers point to affairs or money. But marriages don’t end because of events. In 23 years of practice, we have found that divorce occurs when a couple has turned from one another and looked for satisfaction outside of the marriage.…

Mediation Training:  Family Law Here at Peace Talks we get a lot of questions about how to become a mediator.  For the full story, here’s a link to the “how to become a mediator” blog post.  We also offer a mediation training program.  It’s a 25 hour program on DVD.  It also comes with a…

There’s often a lot of grandstanding in divorce court proceedings. A lot of people say, “I’ll see you in court!” not knowing exactly what that means.  In the moment, they don’t like what they’re hearing, whether it’s in mediation or around the kitchen table, so they say, I’m done with this!” not realizing that saying “no”…

Putting a price on sanity? There have been so many articles on people who aren’t getting divorced because they “can’t afford it” that it’s making me a little alarmed. The monetary cost of divorce is one thing. Certainly, divorce mediation is a less costly alternative to fighting it out in court, especially when finances are…

Divorce in California Divorce law varies state-to-state, and California has the distinction of being one of 9 states that have enacted a Community Property law. As a divorce lawyer in Los Angeles, this actually simplifies things (at least initially) because California follows the 50/50 rule. Partners each get 50% of their collective property from the…

Setting Clear Boundaries Often, your marital or domestic situation does not meet the level of serious violence where you have to flee, but you are subject to consistent intimidation or abuse. These actions are also a form of violence or battering, and also an indication of the deterioration in your relationship. Understand that when you…

Well, there’s really no improvements on divorce and custody litigation. But mediation is definitely a better way to go.  Less costly, faster, confidential, on your schedule, tailored to your needs….the benefits of mediation are pretty clear. When you mediate your divorce, family law, custody, child support, alimony, spousal support or modification issue you don’t have…

I know it’s an oxymoron:  nobody wants a divorce, so how could one be good? But when you’re faced with divorce, you have lots of opportunties to make it less bad (if not actually good, at least in the long run, in hindsight). I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 24 years, and expert on what…

The TRUTH IS IRRELEVANT IN DIVORCE. I know that sounds like crazy talk. But think about it this way: When we think of disputes, most of us think that the truth is the key to the resolution of any disagreement. Get to the truth, and you have the resolution to the conflict. Yet, despite the…

Kids and Custody Do you remember being a kid?  At my age it’s a little blurry, but I can tell you that adults often misunderstand how kids behave and think.  Children are often smarter and more creative than we give them credit for.  As a toddler I distinctly remember being able to understand that my…

What Causes Divorce? When thinking about how marriages end, people often look towards distinct events like affairs or money-related problems.  What we’ve found in our 20+ years of experience is that typically this is not the case.  Divorces follow a more basic form of separation: when partners turn away from one another to seek gratification…

There are eight peace practices which are free and easy to stick to every day. They’ll help you stay sane no matter what, and we all know that sanity is at a premium at the moment of any divorce. An excerpt from the 8 Peace Practices chapter of Making Divorce Work, our comprehensive book on cooperative…

I know. It’s an oxymoron–nobody wants a divorce to begin with, so how could a divorce be good?  There are a lot of ways to make the best of the situation when you’re faced with a divorce. I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 22 years, and expert on what works best for both parties when…

Divorce Advice I Give My Friends I’ve been a divorce attorney for 24 years (youthful appearance notwithstanding).  As yo might guess, every single one of my friends (including Facebook friends) ask me for my advice when getting divorced. I’ve written a couple of books about divorce, and that’s where the official advice is.  This is…

Choosing the right mediator is important. You’re going to be talking with your mediator about everything you care anything about in the entire world:  Your future, your kids, your home, your job…..and so you want to choose someone you feel comfortable with. Mediators are all trained in basically the same way, but each person has a different…

You Want an Uncontested Divorce….but how do you get there? The concept of divorce mediation is relatively new, but recently it has been getting a lot more attention.  Especially in Los Angeles, more and more people are starting to appreciate the benefits of an uncontested divorce.  Collaborative divorce and other divorce alternatives, once considered fringe,…

I get asked a lot about Child Custody.  It’s not surprising, since a parent’s love for their children is bigger than any financial settlement.  Oftentimes, a parent feels that getting more time with the child is worth more than any divorce settlement can buy.  Unfortunately, as a mediator specializing in divorce and child custody here…

Here at Peace Talks, we love Mediation.  If you’ve spent any time looking through our site and blog posts, you know that already.  It’s an easy sell, because, to us, it’s a no-brainer.  Just look at a recent example: one couple came into our Los Angeles office looking to get a divorce settlement through mediation. …

Truth is a beloved institution.  It’s the cornerstone of our legal system. “The Truth of the Matter.”  “The Whole Truth, and Nothing But the Truth.”  “I Want the Truth,” says Tom Cruise to a defiant Jack Nicholson.  “You Can’t Handle The Truth,” he snorts back.  This exchange from the movie A Few Good Men“helps to…

  If you’re reading this, you’re probably not in such a good place right now.  However it happens, realizing that your marriage doesn’t make you happy and that something has to change is a tough spot.  You might be early on in the process.  Or maybe you’re not looking forward to doing battle with your…

You never thought it would happen to you, yet here you are faced with divorce. Maybe you asked for the divorce. Maybe you’re the one who is being left. Even if it is something you and your spouse both want equally, you are facing a crisis. You may be wondering why we’re talking about resolving…

A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict  Key 2: Understand that Acknowledging and Listening are NOT the same as Obeying   You may be tempted to issue decrees as you deal with your spouse over your divorce.  It might seem a whole lot easier to lay down the law and have those around you adhere…

A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict Key 3: Use I-Statements When you’ve spent the better part of your working life mediating and finding peaceful resolutions to conflicts, you begin to see patterns of both conflict and resolution.  In our divorce mediation practice, we’re big fans of  “I” statements.  “I” statements are conflict resolution magic.…

A Closer Look at Resolving Divorce Conflict Key 4: Give the Benefit of the Doubt. It’s hard to say which of these keys to resolving conflict we like the most. They have all become repeatedly handy with our clients. Before, during and after your divorce, you’re going to have lots of opportunities to test your…

A Divorce Mission Statement Have you thought about how you want your divorce to go?  What’s your ideal resolution?  Do you see a clear winner or loser?  Divorce is one of those areas where the questions you have now will almost always lead to even more questions.  One thing you can do to exercise control…

Peace of Mind Collaborative and the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association are pleased to present a community-based series of Divorce Options

Streamlined Collaborative Practice Protocols Training June 6-8, 2013 Skirball Center Los Angeles, CA The Marina Collaborative Divorce Practice Group along with Co-Sponsor, the Southern California Mediation Association, are excited to announce our upcoming Three-Day Collaborative Practice Training June 6-8, 2013  in Los Angeles, California at the beautiful Skirball Center.     Why this training is different: This…