You and your spouse have decided to separate, and you are looking for an amicable split. What is the best approach? Collaborative Divorce is an alternative option to litigation that provides more professional support to each individual during the divorce process. Each party agrees to stay out of court, and retains their own lawyer, divorce…
Read More →“Lower tax-refunds” has been a subject in the news a lot recently. It is something that that’s a real issue for most people paying taxes. The fact that less tax may have, indeed, been taken out doesn’t soften the blow when that check is disappointing and deflated from previous years. There are strategies available to…
Read More →In every family situation as soon as couples walk through the PeaceTalks door they want to know how to protect the children. It’s always about the kids first and last when the word divorce becomes part of the conversation.The threat of becoming estranged fromorlosing a child can start a feeling of panic that has an…
Read More →I came across a nice synopsis of why mediation for your divorce may be the smartest choice. It is safe to say that most couples facing divorce expect the experience to be agonizing as well as exhausting. Ending a marriage, and the ensuing divorce, is one of the most emotional events of a lifetime. Since…
Read More →One of the great dynamics that we participate in at our Divorce Mediation sessions at PeaceTalks is the age-old mantra “necessity is the mother of invention.” Once we’re able to establish a common goal for our couples in each of the areas involving conflict it’s amazing how quickly they discover resolutions through cooperation and creativity. By…
Read More →For anyone who can’t let go of that “Money=Happiness” thing, just read and be kind of glad that you don’t have so much money that God borrows from you. The divorce fairness issue that Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos don’t have to worry about https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/11/opinions/divorce-unfair-bezos-opinion-cohen/index.html
Read More →With just less than half of married partners ending in divorce, therapists over time have developed some suggestions for making the process possibly less painful for everyone. You will see from these suggestions why PeaceTalks always makes sure a therapist is available for both parties for every session. You can see a thread with these…
Read More →In getting to a mutually agreeable divorce settlement we make progress, literally, by getting couples to communicate with each other. Many couples find it difficult to communicate. Our therapist mediator will provide tools to better communication and can also facilitate a “difficult conversation.”Communication is an interactive process, and text messages can be a great way to stay…
Read More →For anyone who can’t let go of that “Money=Happiness” thing, just read and be kind of glad that you don’t have so much money that God borrows from you. The divorce fairness issue that Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos don’t have to worry about https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/11/opinions/divorce-unfair-bezos-opinion-cohen/index.html
Read More →All investors review their investments annually, and in light of the market’s recent volatility, it would be wise to review your investments soon as the new tax laws may affect your strategies. “Rebalancing” may be in order if your portfolio’s asset allocation no longer meets your current long-term objectives. As always, you should consult with your…
Read More →The following was excerpted from an article in the Boston Herald by Wendy Hickey Should We Try Mediation? The answer is yes for most people. The majority of couples we see at PeaceTalks have enough common goals to negotiate an amicable and equitable settlement agreement. Since most people will listen to a neutral third-party guide in…
Read More →Impossible as it sounds there are people that swear by this strategy, even for short bursts of time, to alleviate the insidious stress of constant interaction and relentless, shifting deadlines. These are two of the main irritants that we see at PeaceTalks that affect our clients. Here are some great thoughts Catherine Price presents and…
Read More →There are some great points in this article (link below) that are very relevant to both children of the before group as well as those dealing annually with the “split family” holiday conflicts. I hope some of these insights come in handy no matter which side of the timeline you are on and I’m adding a story…
Read More →Here’s a couple more tips from the article I saw by Oren Kaufmann on the Mediate.com website. Don’t be penny wise and pound-foolish. Imagine the following not so unusual scenario. You have resolved all the tough issues and for some reason these one or two remain “as a matter of principle“. It makes no sense financially…
Read More →There are a lot of commonalities with divorce and lessons from shared experiences can be extremely helpful when going through extremely stressful situations like divorce negotiations. Some great suggestions were offered by a mediation expert named Oran Kaufman in a series of articles for Mediate.com and I wanted to pass along these very cogent, and…
Read More →As the commercial says “I’m not a tax advisor and I didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night…” but a piece by Dan Caplinger from The Motley Fool might have a useful idea for your situation. There’s a link at the end to the whole article. Tax strategies is something that PeaceTalks always has…
Read More →I came across an article in Divorce Magazine by Susan E. Guthrie that echoed familiar misconceptions that we come across at PeaceTalks, as do many of our colleagues. Here are a few highlights and I’ve provided a link to the entire article, which makes some excellent points: Almost any divorce case, or really any family law matter,…
Read More →In light of the changes in the tax laws and the recent roller coaster volatility in the stock market it might be prudent to talk with your financial advisor about whatever investment assets are attached to your settlement agreement. You can also get feedback and updates related to other nest eggs that are not part…
Read More →Besides the slight “Dog Bites Man” slant to another celebrity divorce, with the wife paying alimony, I want to highlight another example of the kind of “creative agreements” that PeaceTalks encourages in our mediation strategies. Alicia Silverstone to Pay Ex Spousal Support by Brian Hood, Page Six As part of the couple’s divorce agreement, the “Clueless”…
Read More →I came across this article and recognized some of the dynamics as themes that we see at PeaceTalks on a regular and all too frequent basis. It sometimes helps if an idea about an important decision process comes from a third party so feel free to share this with anyone. Why You Stayed in That…
Read More →I hope we all have a happy and safe holiday in the midst of whatever inevitable stress pops up. If you have contact with any young people that are suddenly curious about politics and what some other kids are up to here’s a couple of links to one example. (“Teens In Politics”) It might resonate just…
Read More →I came across an article by Jill Stanley, who covers celebrity legal stories, as to why some celebrities choose mediation for their divorce process. Using some couples from Malibu as a general backdrop she covers a few of these reasons that really can apply to any amicable couple looking to avoid costly litigation. PeaceTalks has handled agreements for celebrities…
Read More →Whether you are in or out of a divorce, the holidays are challenging enough without constant pictures of hellfire and smoky air in your eyes. It can be tough find time in order to target the most effective channel for giving help during a catastrophe and our fires are no exception. I’m passing along some…
Read More →There was an article in the Sunday LA Times by Ben Steverman of Bloomberg News with some very clear advice from some divorce professionals that have been doing this for a long time. His article was written before the fires started devastating the lives of thousands of our fellow Californians. PeaceTalks and every other mediation…
Read More →If you have kids that have been affected by the shooting in Thousand Oaks, or the fires that eventually threatened Malibu and you are looking for referrals please call the PeaceTalks office. We have associates and contacts throughout the area and some professionals themselves are going to be hampered by local conditions. Some local therapists…
Read More →For people screening referrals they have received to mediation services some questions are best dealt with at the very beginning of the process. Even couples that may have already made a choice often benefit from getting some issues settled before the start of actual preparation and negotiation. Is the first consultation free? PeaceTalks does not…
Read More →From the time that the emotional separation begins on the path to a divorce there will be transition period while still sharing the house and marking the beginning of the co-parenting puzzle maze. Professionals reiterate that that with the right effort, on both parts, this transition can be smoother and less disruptive to the kids.…
Read More →For anyone that is still facing the December 31 deadline for filing here’s some possible relief from some of that anxiety. A lot of people have come to Peace Talks worried, in part, about the alimony change in the new tax laws and what they have to do by December 31 to maximize their benefits going…
Read More →Understanding different types of retirement assets, and the costs and taxes associated with each, when liquidated, can help you make informed decisions. Always consult with your financial and tax advisors during the decision making process especially before a liquidation. To help ensure that you reach an agreement that is equitable to both of you, it’s important…
Read More →Dividing Debts in Divorce One of the bad surprises that we see in the divorce process is the amount of money that is owed by both parties as individuals, and as a couple. This can be gnarly and painful and needs professional help to ensure accuracy. A person’s responsibility for any debt the couple has…
Read More →I get a kick out of how many people come to Peace Talks and talk about their divorce concerns and situations referencing plot lines from television shows. Being in Los Angeles that makes sense even though it may have nothing to do with the reality outside the studio walls. The messages we get from television about…
Read More →Peace Talks, by definition, gives people the opportunity to talk about everything that is relevant to reaching an amicable agreement. This applies, as well, to all the legal advisors that come to our mediation table. We get to listen to the perspective of the lawyer in many different types of divorce situations representing a wide range of…
Read More →Fortunately, most of the couples we see at Peace Talks are already focused on the common goal of an amicable agreement, the only choice that is always best for the children. One of the first things we do is help set up a structure for times and places and the necessary exchanges to be performed.…
Read More →Recently, I’ve been encountering a lot of feedback related to people “rushing” to a divorce, before being informed, as to what needs to be done ahead of time. Here are some of the recurring themes that many therapists and advisors caution about when facing this decision. At Peace Talks we offer discernment counseling to help you…
Read More →Here are a few of the questions that come up most often when people are their evaluating their options in relation to the divorce process. If you have some questions about your own situation please contact the office anytime. How can I avoid going to court? If you use a mediation service the court will…
Read More →New tax law prompting flood of accelerated divorces as Dec. 31 deadline looms David Garrick, The San Diego Union-Tribune The term “accelerated divorces” got my attention yesterday when an edited version of this article appeared in the Los Angeles Times. The indications, from 2018 first-half data, are that there may be even more of a…
Read More →Divorce isn’t a failure, therapists say. In fact, it could mean the marriage was a success. The overwhelming feeling of failureis almost impossible to avoid when divorce becomes a reality. We see this even in mediation where both parties are in agreement and it is, of course, worse for those in long litigations. The difficulties…
Read More →These two terms are being tossed around a lot as people prepare to meet the December 31st deadline for divorce related paperwork and try to avoid going to court. I’ve left a link to an article by Armita Azad from Mediate.com that gives a clear, concise look at the differences between the two from the…
Read More →Every now and then even a “general” survey can be of use for a “specific” purpose. Dr. Grande highlights four common stress sources, from the Harris Interactive survey, for couples today and two of them are about sex. The other two are about money, (surprise! surprise!), making it and spending it. There is no delineation…
Read More →I don’t know how to get the kids more sleep but this letter certainly presents a solid case for making it a cooperative priority whenever physically possible. This response to an LA Times editorial about adjusting school start times to favor the biorhythms of students made a strong case but will face enormous resistance from…
Read More →One of the most frustrating constants we see in Divorce Mediation is that a surprising percentage of the children involved will have adjustment issues that will need to be addressed by a an outside specialist. It’s a difficult decision point to face as I can bear witness to in my own life. Now matter how…
Read More →Of all the issues that come up with co-parenting “families of divorce” none are as insidious or downright ugly as “matters of money”. Having attained status as a C.F.P. over the years, I witnessed some of the acrimony the author describes and she is, unfortunately, not exaggerating. The end of the year will often be…
Read More →This article by Dr. Halem seemed very timely as we hit the Labor Day weekend and all too soon will be staring Halloween and Thanksgiving in the face. I really liked what she said about keeping you informed after your mediation is finished. Here are a few highlights and a link to the entire article…
Read More →This recent article from Divorce Magazine caught my attention because it highlights a very real problem that plagues a significant percentage of divorces in general. I have heard some long-time professionals suggest that some of the angst in the White House is related to post-divorce health problems on a multiple scale. One of the primary reasons…
Read More →I came across this exchange with Jim Tankersley who covers economic and tax policy for The New York Times and Ailsa Chang from NPR. Jim gives a nice summary of the dynamics involved that are driving financial advisors to get a strategy in place for all their clients that are party to a divorce settlement before…
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At Peace Talks we have been doing a lot of “coaching” with the overwhelming process of divorce, from divorcing parents and premaritals as well as legal and psychological practitioners. Here’s a description of “Divorce Coaching” from the American Bar Association: “Divorce coaching is a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Lately the media has been overwhelmed with this problem and the getting rid of the trash that goes along with it. It’s a Herculean task that’s long overdue for overhauling as to the methods used to attack its many different aspects. One issue inexorably linked to the deeper roots of the problem…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Even if you don’t shop for “Designer” fashions there’s a good chance the name “Kate Spade” is one you’ve seen somewhere before her recent suicide. Suicide is still near the top of the list of tough subjects to discuss with the kids. Trying to find the “middle ground” for co-parenting on almost…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney It seems that childcare and its “do’s and “don’ts” keeps coming up as one of the most emotional issues dividing couples that are co-parenting even with only one child in the mix. I came across an article from the “First 5 California”* website that has some valuable viewpoints about this incredibly difficult…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney If you are getting a divorce before the end of 2018 you should be aware of the 30th of June as the final day to file your paperwork. If however, you need to finalize or amend your current settlement agreement then early October is when the clerks need your paperwork to review. That’s very important to…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney An article by Ben Steverman (Bloomberg News) from Sunday’s LA Times dealt with some tax-related issues that are going to affect a lot of divorced couples and their respective families. It’s an extremely informative piece that’s well worth the read. I wanted to highlight a few things he brings up that are…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney I saw this piece and was shocked. Bryan McQueeney is the chief executive of the nonprofit Ride On Therapeutic Horsemanship in Los Angeles and he sums up nicely some of the unfortunate possibilities. The new tax law, according to estimates from the Council on Foundations, will drain $16 billion to $24 billion a year…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Once in a while, something related to my previous incarnation in the investment world catches my attention, especially when it relates to the credit markets. A piece in The Washington Post by David Lynch shed some light on important recent developments in the economy, particularly affecting consumers, as we moved into the…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Since I get reminded on a daily basis of why a lot of moms are finding it harder to celebrate things sometimes this seemed a bright piece of news. If these bills actually make progress I will pass along the word on what we can do to support their passage. Enjoy the…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney There was a recent article by Joel Stein about “Nextdoor” the social networking service and requisite letters in response representing various points of view. Since one of the main goals is to keep neighbors apprised of suspicious behavior it’s not difficult to understand how people’s paranoia could get in the way. The most disturbing…
Read More →There was a piece by the LA Times contributor David Lazarus the other day about the possibility of a “Postal Bank”. NY Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand introduced legislation to allow the Post office to conduct banking services such as checking and small loans. All at reasonable rates and that’s the problem. This idea has been beaten…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney When Crosby, Stills, and Nash sang their song they had no idea that the people actually teaching our kids were in danger themselves. They may have to start a “Fund Me Page” for Arizona where the teachers are on strike to force the lawmakers that voted for tax cuts, to increase funding…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Living by “The Venice Beach Boardwalk” for the past twenty years has provided my family many opportunities to experience a wide spectrum of residents and visitors. As co-parents, we’ve all had to try to explain to the kids why there are people sleeping on the sidewalks and in the bushes no matter whose house…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney I’m a technology fan but there are times when we have to pay close attention to “the little man behind the curtain.” According to researchers, from UC Berkeley, the University of British Columbia and Stony Brook University, “Nearly one in five of the most popular free children- and family-oriented apps in the…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Apparently, women have had enough of being on “the short end of the stick” when it comes political policy in this country. A record number of women — 309 — had filed to run for the U.S. House as of April 6. That’s a nearly 90-percent increase over 2016’s numbers. That wave of women…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Co-parenting is tough enough without having to wonder if you’re one text away from that phone call from the Highway Patrol. Nobody wants to be the cop in the family even when it makes sense to everybody else. We all abuse the privilege of using the phone while driving so it’s tough…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Here it is again that time to start getting out and planning out some “away from the house” time. It seems to get tougher each year so we have to get more creative. Actual vacations involving travel are kind of a special event category and require detailed coordination never mind extraordinary cooperation.…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Every family that I interact with has difficulty creating and managing their time together. By definition, Divorce creates two entities from one source. With our technology, it sounds crazy to admit that we have trouble connecting with each other but that is the reality for a lot of people. This is all…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Imagine Frances McDormand outside your house of white with 500,000 walking, breathing, two-legged billboards demanding action about the killing of her child. Apparently, if all politics are local, then all school shootings are now personal. Isn’t it about time we all find some unifying spirit through these kids for actually doing something…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney As we finally are getting some much-needed rain I keep thinking about things, besides the social and political black holes, that are ripe for clean up. With a clearer picture of your finances under the new tax laws it’s probably not a bad idea to get an overview from your advisors about…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Every year around “Tax Time” consumers, across the board, get hit with opportunities to “turn that refund into a lot of money” and this year some of it is coming a “Bit Coin” at a time. Scams that have historically targeted retirees, widows and widowers are now bleeding out to include the…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney The more I read about how little time people have for things they’d like to do the question remains about how to make time for things they need to do. That always brings me around to creating opportunities for a friendly exchange of information in a relaxed setting. What we’re talking about…
Read More →Husbands Showing More Concern About Repeal of Alimony Deduction by Stephanie Maloney January 2019 may be far out on the calendar but a survey from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) got my attention with some calculations about alimony and acrimony. Chicago, IL, February 14, 2018 – It seems that the federal government has made divorce…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney Even if you don’t have “Olympic Fever” there are always some great moments worth watching. Because I skated competitively growing up in Minnesota I’m reminded how important teamwork is to even the individualevents. The research and planning that are part of the preparation process involve many people and have a lot to do with the final results.…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney The new tax legislation will necessitate adjustments for many people dealing with alimony payments-both paying and receiving. When you start to factor in things like tuition and college debt you get a sense of where your strategy needs to shift in order to maintain sufficient protection for your assets. Your tax advisor…
Read More →by Stephanie Maloney If individual stocks or mutual funds are associated with your divorce, whether by mediation or litigation, don’t panic because of the recent market volatility. When people “inherit” equities it can take some time to learn how to properly keep track of them. In my many years in the investment sector I witnessed corrections similar…
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