Divorce ranks as one of life’s most stressful experiences, often matching the emotional intensity of losing a loved one. The uncertainty, fear, and grief can feel overwhelming for anyone going through this significant life transition. You can absolutely heal your mind and emerge stronger from this challenging time. One client thought her world was ending…
Divorce doesn’t have to be a battlefield. I’ve seen countless couples transform what could be a painful, destructive process into a journey of healing and mutual respect. Collaborative Divorce offers a lifeline when trust seems completely broken. Imagine a divorce process that doesn’t leave emotional scars or drain your bank account. Traditional court divorces can…
Divorce represents one of life’s most challenging transitions, even when both parties agree it’s necessary. Your path through this process dramatically affects your legal outcome, emotional well-being, and future relationships. Collaborative Divorce mediation offers a significantly more peaceful alternative to traditional courtroom litigation, helping you preserve what matters most while dissolving your marriage. When couples…
Considering divorce is never easy, but understanding your options can help make this challenging transition more manageable and less stressful. Divorce mediation offers a peaceful alternative to traditional divorce court battles, allowing couples to work together to create solutions that benefit everyone involved, especially children. Through mediation, you and your spouse can maintain control over…
Children often face numerous emotional challenges during a divorce, even if they seem resilient on the surface. Studies show that traumatic experiences can alter brain pathways, leading to lasting emotional and physical effects. Divorce can trigger a “fight or flight” response in children, especially if parents are pitted against each other in a traditional court…
Most couples who are soon to be tying the knot have long to-do lists. But most often, mediating a prenup agreement is not on that list. Mediating a premarital agreement is not as fun as cake tasting, but it is just as important for your financial future together. Mediating a prenuptial agreement can be a…
Divorce is one of the most challenging life transitions, especially concerning finances. But it doesn’t have to be a bitter, drawn-out battle as often seen in court-litigated divorces. Collaborative mediation offers a more amicable and constructive way to start your new chapter while creating tailored asset division plans. When dividing assets and debts, a collaborative…
Coordinating summer activities can be challenging when you share custody of your children with your ex-spouse, especially when there are a lot of events involved. There will always be schedule changes throughout your post-divorce life, but planning ahead can help minimize them. Here are several tips we can share with you to help with your…
When you are experiencing the bumpy journey of divorce, there are a lot of questions and concerns, and more often than not, they are overwhelming. And there’s no right or wrong way to forge a path forward, especially regarding the financial division of assets, including the family home. The key elements in collaborative divorce or…
When discussing the family home while divorcing, it is important to be transparent and open to discussion. One of you may want to stay in your home, while the other wants to sell. Often, couples will bring in a financial neutral professional to help them make an amicable decision on how to move forward with…
When we speak with parents who are divorcing and have children, we often help them draft a conversation to share with their children to meet their needs and age level. Here are some other thoughts to keep in mind: Collaborative divorce mediation encourages parents to work together to decide the best way to share the…
There are several ways to proceed once you and your spouse decide to move forward with a marital dissolution. Often we meet with clients to help them understand the difference between legal separation and divorce. The laws are confusing and overwhelming to many clients, and we are here to help! Here is what we often…
Understanding how child support is calculated can help divorcing couples make informed decisions, fostering a smoother process. In an amicable divorce or mediation, transparency and cooperation are key. This allows couples to address child support with empathy and efficiency and meet unique needs while keeping the child in the forefront. Both parents’ incomes play a…
While divorce may seem like an ending, it can be a gateway to a new beginning. It might be hard for you to know where to start. If you’re looking to move forward after or during your divorce, here are a few steps to rediscover your strength and empowerment: The divorce journey is unique to…
Managing your financial situation becomes a central concern when you opt for collaborative divorce or mediation to achieve an amicable marital separation. In this article, we will explore the instrumental role of a neutral financial specialist, in these processes, who will offer insights into various financial aspects crucial for a harmonious divorce. Here are some…
Divorce can be financially challenging, but you can navigate it smoothly with the right steps, especially through mediation. At Peace Talks, we specialize in helping couples achieve amicable divorces, including handling their finances sensibly. Here’s a guide to financial steps to take when you are divorcing: Achieving an amicable divorce while managing your finances sensibly…
Divorce isn’t easy, especially when kids are involved. As a collaborative divorce mediator, I understand the challenges you face. Here’s practical advice for dealing with divorce as a single parent while prioritizing your children’s well-being. Prioritize Open Communication Keep communication open with your ex-spouse. Discuss schedules and decisions together, showing unity for your kids. Consistency…
It’s essential to prioritize self-care and find healthy ways to cope with the stress that comes with divorce. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here are some practical strategies that can help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster of divorce: Consider opting for a collaborative divorce process or mediation instead of traditional litigation. Collaborative divorce involves mental health…
Navigating a gray divorce comes with unique financial considerations, but careful planning and informed decisions can help secure your financial future. Here are key strategies to survive financially during a gray divorce: Opting for a collaborative divorce process or mediation involves professionals committed to resolving conflicts outside of court. This team, including financial neutrals, mental…
As digital devices and social media have become a significant part of life, smartphones and social media platforms are also integral part of our everyday lives. People frequently want to share their experiences – both positive and negative – with friends and family via status updates, tweets, or pictures shared online. When going through a…
When a marriage breaks down, it can be challenging for couples to understand why and when the communication lines broke down. It’s essential to find a way to reopen those lines of communication to keep the family unit together, even after a divorce has been finalized. One way to do this is through the collaborative…
When couples are divorcing through a litigated court divorce, there is most often chaos and a lot of uncertainty – emotions can run high and hot. But when you and your spouse choose mediation or the collaborative divorce process, you can resolve your differences in a peaceful and amicable environment. With the collaborative divorce process,…
The COVID-19 pandemic has brought numerous changes and challenges to our daily lives, and the divorce process is no exception. When you utilize the collaborative divorce model, you have access to a team of professionals, who will work together to resolve your disputes while staying out of court. A court-litigated divorce often pits couples against…
Facebook and Instagram would have everyone believing that everyone’s holidays are jolly, bright and perfect! And that can be so very far from the reality of what the holiday season brings, especially for children of divorce and their parents. When our clients decide to use mediation or the collaborative divorce model, they are surrounded by…
The holidays are a time for family and friends, not for turmoil, but when divorce is part of the equation, it can feel like peace will never be found. Social media has created a vision in our heads of how “the holidays should be” – you know fun-filled, always cheerful and delighting in every encounter…
Baby Boomers were born between 1946-1964 and after World War II ended. They came after the Silent Generation and before Generation X. The Pew Research Center recorded that couples divorcing over 50 years of age have doubled, and over 65 – the rate has tripled. Studies show that boomers are choosing to dissolve their marriages…
Child abuse can come in many forms, some of which are unnoticeable at first. For example, a couple going through divorce may be too stressed to notice that they have consistently failed to provide food and proper supervision for their child, which does count as neglect. If tensions are high at home, it can lead to verbal…
One of the questions that often arise during the divorce process is how spousal support will be handled and how it will affect the post-divorce financial landscape. When a couple decides to utilize the collaborative divorce process and avoid court litigation, they will have access to a team of experts such as a financial neutral,…
If you are looking to divorce your partner using the collaborative divorce process, it is important not to hide any financial assets and be completely transparent. Couples agree to disclose all requested information about their finances during the collaborative divorce process. If either client hides assets, the collaborative lawyers must withdraw from the process.…
Children are not always open books; it is quite hard to read their emotions sometimes, and they don’t come with an instruction book. And when your family is in the midst of getting a divorce, children can get even harder to read and understand. Children often do not show their emotional struggles the same way…
Newlyweds often find it hard to think how they will deal with various issues, difficulties, or disagreements during their marriage, especially in the early days of their journey. But the reality is marriages are not always perfect. It’s more of a rollercoaster ride, especially during the rough patches. To have a successful marriage takes a…
The collateral emotional damage that divorce can cause is not just limited to the couple getting the divorce. It also extends to the family’s children, no matter their age. “It will be okay. Children bounce back,” could not be further from the truth. Children who are involved in a divorce where mental health is not…
While not on the top of your mind when preparing for a marriage, a pre-marital financial agreement is a task that should be added to the marital to-do list. Many couples struggle with having this uncomfortable conversation. It’s better to cross this road now than later! When you work with a collaborative mediator, this uncomfortable…
When you find yourself on the divorce road, you know in your gut that everything you hold dear will change. You will find yourself with a different financial portfolio, often shared with your ex. Time and again our clients will share their concerns with our financial mediators about how the divorce will impact them financially…
When you are a woman going through a divorce, you may find that you are financially impacted in ways your male counterpart is not, especially with a court-litigated divorce process. Often, we see that women are more financially impacted than men, and here are a few reasons why: Women are often the lower wage earner…
While going through a divorce can be one of life’s most stressful events, that stress can be reduced by keeping the conflict low. The first step in keeping conflict low is practicing self-care during this challenging time. Treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and sensitivity is essential. We want to make decisions for ourselves, and our…
It’s completely understandable to have a million questions swirling around in your head – divorce can be a lonely and grueling space to live in and sometimes you may feel unsure about everything. However, when you choose the collaborative law process, there is a team of experts willing to help you and your spouse navigate…
When you and your spouse decide it is time to start the divorce process, there are many things to think about and add to your to-do list. And when the marriage involves children, the stress really increases and it can feel very overwhelming. Children can change the entire dynamic for divorcing couples. Instead of focusing…
You and your spouse have decided to separate, and you are looking for an amicable split. What is the best approach? Collaborative Divorce is an alternative option to litigation that provides more professional support to each individual during the divorce process. Each party agrees to stay out of court, and retains their own lawyer, divorce…
When going through a divorce, your emotions can feel like a never-ending grief rollercoaster and the ups and downs of this emotional journey can be hard to understand. What you may not know is the grieving process during a divorce is like the grief experienced when someone passes away. Here are the five stages of…
When you and your spouse decide to utilize a collaborative divorce approach, both of you will have access to neutral financial mediators. Financial mediators can help prepare schedules that project cash flows, net worth, and the tax effects of your proposed settlements. They are often asked these 3 tax questions: How should I file my…
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, federal tax filings have been extended until July 15, 2020. Often couples are blindsided by the tax impact of getting a divorce, but when you utilize the collaborative divorce process, you have a team of experts on your divorce team that will help you find your way out of the…
The novel coronavirus has not only sickened many, but it has also cut off our various income streams, and our financial security is at risk. And if you find yourself in the middle of the divorce process, you may feel like you are drowning in this storm and all hope is lost for financial recovery,…
While we battle the COVID-19 virus, even though it seems the world has stopped, there are still many other high stressors at play, such as families who are trying to balance out custody concerns. Many states have a stay-at-home order, and because of safety issues of contracting the virus, parental custody arrangements may need to…
Going through a divorce can be difficult enough, but adding the Coronavirus to the mix can make it more challenging. Peace-Talks Mediation Services is here to help you through this difficult time. We are currently open and providing services in our office. While we are aware of the social distancing currently going on today, we…
Divorce can be extremely emotionally draining on the spouses, but more often than not, the toll it takes on the children in the family is often overlooked. But did you know your children’s emotional well-being is a key factor when you and your spouse seek a divorce thru the collaborative divorce process? During the collaborative…
“Out with the old, in with the new” is a famous quote that refers to a person making personal changes in their life. After a divorce, many people struggle to find their “new you”. How does someone go about creating a new you? This is where a magic wand would come in handy, right? First…
As 2019 wound down, and your divorce was finalized, you may find yourself asking many questions, some of which may be: How can I make the most of 2020 as a new divorcee? How do I grow my relationship with my children? What is the best way to continue growing my communications with my ex?…
Divorce mediators can make or break a divorce agreement. In order work with an effective divorce facilitator, you and your soon-to-be-ex need to vet them by asking a series of questions to determine if they can help meet both of your needs without going to court and draft a settlement that will be agreeable to…
Life is full of twist and turns! Often, we don’t know what road we should go down. The “divorce” road is filled with enormous potholes that wreak havoc on custody, property, financial and emotional agreements. It’s hard to know how to avoid these potholes. One of the things that can help keep you on the…
One of the hardest moments in a divorce is sharing with your children that you and your spouse will be separating. It’s so hard to know how to start and have such an awkward conversation. Here are some tips we like to share with our clients to help them in having this painful dialogue: Make…
Are you in the very beginning stages of getting a divorce? Concerned at what your financial landscape will look like once your separation has been finalized? One thing is for sure, many things will change after a divorce, and one of the most significant changes will be your finances. Here are a few financial thoughts…
If You Have Children, You Should Get a Trust! For most of us, our children are our most precious “possessions”. At Peace Talks Mediation, we feel the exact same way and we make their well being the focus of our divorce mediation. However, while we may believe that we place our children’s interests as our…
While many of us may believe that estate planning is only for the rich or the elderly, you should know that this process is essential if you have children. At Peace Talks Mediation, not only do we help you with divorce mediation, but we also recommend how you can protect your most precious “possessions” your…
“Lower tax-refunds” has been a subject in the news a lot recently. It is something that that’s a real issue for most people paying taxes. The fact that less tax may have, indeed, been taken out doesn’t soften the blow when that check is disappointing and deflated from previous years. There are strategies available to…
In every family situation as soon as couples walk through the PeaceTalks door they want to know how to protect the children. It’s always about the kids first and last when the word divorce becomes part of the conversation.The threat of becoming estranged fromorlosing a child can start a feeling of panic that has an…
I came across a nice synopsis of why mediation for your divorce may be the smartest choice. It is safe to say that most couples facing divorce expect the experience to be agonizing as well as exhausting. Ending a marriage, and the ensuing divorce, is one of the most emotional events of a lifetime. Since…
One of the great dynamics that we participate in at our Divorce Mediation sessions at PeaceTalks is the age-old mantra “necessity is the mother of invention.” Once we’re able to establish a common goal for our couples in each of the areas involving conflict it’s amazing how quickly they discover resolutions through cooperation and creativity. By…
For anyone who can’t let go of that “Money=Happiness” thing, just read and be kind of glad that you don’t have so much money that God borrows from you. The divorce fairness issue that Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos don’t have to worry about https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/11/opinions/divorce-unfair-bezos-opinion-cohen/index.html
With just less than half of married partners ending in divorce, therapists over time have developed some suggestions for making the process possibly less painful for everyone. You will see from these suggestions why PeaceTalks always makes sure a therapist is available for both parties for every session. You can see a thread with these…
In getting to a mutually agreeable divorce settlement we make progress, literally, by getting couples to communicate with each other. Many couples find it difficult to communicate. Our therapist mediator will provide tools to better communication and can also facilitate a “difficult conversation.”Communication is an interactive process, and text messages can be a great way to stay…
For anyone who can’t let go of that “Money=Happiness” thing, just read and be kind of glad that you don’t have so much money that God borrows from you. The divorce fairness issue that Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos don’t have to worry about https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/11/opinions/divorce-unfair-bezos-opinion-cohen/index.html
All investors review their investments annually, and in light of the market’s recent volatility, it would be wise to review your investments soon as the new tax laws may affect your strategies. “Rebalancing” may be in order if your portfolio’s asset allocation no longer meets your current long-term objectives. As always, you should consult with your…
The following was excerpted from an article in the Boston Herald by Wendy Hickey Should We Try Mediation? The answer is yes for most people. The majority of couples we see at PeaceTalks have enough common goals to negotiate an amicable and equitable settlement agreement. Since most people will listen to a neutral third-party guide in…
Impossible as it sounds there are people that swear by this strategy, even for short bursts of time, to alleviate the insidious stress of constant interaction and relentless, shifting deadlines. These are two of the main irritants that we see at PeaceTalks that affect our clients. Here are some great thoughts Catherine Price presents and…
There are some great points in this article (link below) that are very relevant to both children of the before group as well as those dealing annually with the “split family” holiday conflicts. I hope some of these insights come in handy no matter which side of the timeline you are on and I’m adding a story…
Here’s a couple more tips from the article I saw by Oren Kaufmann on the Mediate.com website. Don’t be penny wise and pound-foolish. Imagine the following not so unusual scenario. You have resolved all the tough issues and for some reason these one or two remain “as a matter of principle“. It makes no sense financially…
There are a lot of commonalities with divorce and lessons from shared experiences can be extremely helpful when going through extremely stressful situations like divorce negotiations. Some great suggestions were offered by a mediation expert named Oran Kaufman in a series of articles for Mediate.com and I wanted to pass along these very cogent, and…
As the commercial says “I’m not a tax advisor and I didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night…” but a piece by Dan Caplinger from The Motley Fool might have a useful idea for your situation. There’s a link at the end to the whole article. Tax strategies is something that PeaceTalks always has…
I came across an article in Divorce Magazine by Susan E. Guthrie that echoed familiar misconceptions that we come across at PeaceTalks, as do many of our colleagues. Here are a few highlights and I’ve provided a link to the entire article, which makes some excellent points: Almost any divorce case, or really any family law matter,…
In light of the changes in the tax laws and the recent roller coaster volatility in the stock market it might be prudent to talk with your financial advisor about whatever investment assets are attached to your settlement agreement. You can also get feedback and updates related to other nest eggs that are not part…
Besides the slight “Dog Bites Man” slant to another celebrity divorce, with the wife paying alimony, I want to highlight another example of the kind of “creative agreements” that PeaceTalks encourages in our mediation strategies. Alicia Silverstone to Pay Ex Spousal Support by Brian Hood, Page Six As part of the couple’s divorce agreement, the “Clueless”…
I came across this article and recognized some of the dynamics as themes that we see at PeaceTalks on a regular and all too frequent basis. It sometimes helps if an idea about an important decision process comes from a third party so feel free to share this with anyone. Why You Stayed in That…
I hope we all have a happy and safe holiday in the midst of whatever inevitable stress pops up. If you have contact with any young people that are suddenly curious about politics and what some other kids are up to here’s a couple of links to one example. (“Teens In Politics”) It might resonate just…
I came across an article by Jill Stanley, who covers celebrity legal stories, as to why some celebrities choose mediation for their divorce process. Using some couples from Malibu as a general backdrop she covers a few of these reasons that really can apply to any amicable couple looking to avoid costly litigation. PeaceTalks has handled agreements for celebrities…
Whether you are in or out of a divorce, the holidays are challenging enough without constant pictures of hellfire and smoky air in your eyes. It can be tough find time in order to target the most effective channel for giving help during a catastrophe and our fires are no exception. I’m passing along some…
There was an article in the Sunday LA Times by Ben Steverman of Bloomberg News with some very clear advice from some divorce professionals that have been doing this for a long time. His article was written before the fires started devastating the lives of thousands of our fellow Californians. PeaceTalks and every other mediation…
If you have kids that have been affected by the shooting in Thousand Oaks, or the fires that eventually threatened Malibu and you are looking for referrals please call the PeaceTalks office. We have associates and contacts throughout the area and some professionals themselves are going to be hampered by local conditions. Some local therapists…
For people screening referrals they have received to mediation services some questions are best dealt with at the very beginning of the process. Even couples that may have already made a choice often benefit from getting some issues settled before the start of actual preparation and negotiation. Is the first consultation free? PeaceTalks does not…
From the time that the emotional separation begins on the path to a divorce there will be transition period while still sharing the house and marking the beginning of the co-parenting puzzle maze. Professionals reiterate that that with the right effort, on both parts, this transition can be smoother and less disruptive to the kids.…
For anyone that is still facing the December 31 deadline for filing here’s some possible relief from some of that anxiety. A lot of people have come to Peace Talks worried, in part, about the alimony change in the new tax laws and what they have to do by December 31 to maximize their benefits going…
Understanding different types of retirement assets, and the costs and taxes associated with each, when liquidated, can help you make informed decisions. Always consult with your financial and tax advisors during the decision making process especially before a liquidation. To help ensure that you reach an agreement that is equitable to both of you, it’s important…
Dividing Debts in Divorce One of the bad surprises that we see in the divorce process is the amount of money that is owed by both parties as individuals, and as a couple. This can be gnarly and painful and needs professional help to ensure accuracy. A person’s responsibility for any debt the couple has…
I get a kick out of how many people come to Peace Talks and talk about their divorce concerns and situations referencing plot lines from television shows. Being in Los Angeles that makes sense even though it may have nothing to do with the reality outside the studio walls. The messages we get from television about…
Peace Talks, by definition, gives people the opportunity to talk about everything that is relevant to reaching an amicable agreement. This applies, as well, to all the legal advisors that come to our mediation table. We get to listen to the perspective of the lawyer in many different types of divorce situations representing a wide range of…
Fortunately, most of the couples we see at Peace Talks are already focused on the common goal of an amicable agreement, the only choice that is always best for the children. One of the first things we do is help set up a structure for times and places and the necessary exchanges to be performed.…
Recently, I’ve been encountering a lot of feedback related to people “rushing” to a divorce, before being informed, as to what needs to be done ahead of time. Here are some of the recurring themes that many therapists and advisors caution about when facing this decision. At Peace Talks we offer discernment counseling to help you…
Here are a few of the questions that come up most often when people are their evaluating their options in relation to the divorce process. If you have some questions about your own situation please contact the office anytime. How can I avoid going to court? If you use a mediation service the court will…
New tax law prompting flood of accelerated divorces as Dec. 31 deadline looms David Garrick, The San Diego Union-Tribune The term “accelerated divorces” got my attention yesterday when an edited version of this article appeared in the Los Angeles Times. The indications, from 2018 first-half data, are that there may be even more of a…
Divorce isn’t a failure, therapists say. In fact, it could mean the marriage was a success. The overwhelming feeling of failureis almost impossible to avoid when divorce becomes a reality. We see this even in mediation where both parties are in agreement and it is, of course, worse for those in long litigations. The difficulties…
These two terms are being tossed around a lot as people prepare to meet the December 31st deadline for divorce related paperwork and try to avoid going to court. I’ve left a link to an article by Armita Azad from Mediate.com that gives a clear, concise look at the differences between the two from the…
Every now and then even a “general” survey can be of use for a “specific” purpose. Dr. Grande highlights four common stress sources, from the Harris Interactive survey, for couples today and two of them are about sex. The other two are about money, (surprise! surprise!), making it and spending it. There is no delineation…
I don’t know how to get the kids more sleep but this letter certainly presents a solid case for making it a cooperative priority whenever physically possible. This response to an LA Times editorial about adjusting school start times to favor the biorhythms of students made a strong case but will face enormous resistance from…
One of the most frustrating constants we see in Divorce Mediation is that a surprising percentage of the children involved will have adjustment issues that will need to be addressed by a an outside specialist. It’s a difficult decision point to face as I can bear witness to in my own life. Now matter how…
Of all the issues that come up with co-parenting “families of divorce” none are as insidious or downright ugly as “matters of money”. Having attained status as a C.F.P. over the years, I witnessed some of the acrimony the author describes and she is, unfortunately, not exaggerating. The end of the year will often be…
This article by Dr. Halem seemed very timely as we hit the Labor Day weekend and all too soon will be staring Halloween and Thanksgiving in the face. I really liked what she said about keeping you informed after your mediation is finished. Here are a few highlights and a link to the entire article…
This recent article from Divorce Magazine caught my attention because it highlights a very real problem that plagues a significant percentage of divorces in general. I have heard some long-time professionals suggest that some of the angst in the White House is related to post-divorce health problems on a multiple scale. One of the primary reasons…
I came across this exchange with Jim Tankersley who covers economic and tax policy for The New York Times and Ailsa Chang from NPR. Jim gives a nice summary of the dynamics involved that are driving financial advisors to get a strategy in place for all their clients that are party to a divorce settlement before…
At Peace Talks we have been doing a lot of “coaching” with the overwhelming process of divorce, from divorcing parents and premaritals as well as legal and psychological practitioners. Here’s a description of “Divorce Coaching” from the American Bar Association: “Divorce coaching is a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going…